Sunday, August 24, 2008

My Dears in the Headlights: A quiz of Toddler Verbage

Results 2008!

As many of you were unable to attend the results show for this season's contest , and feeling excruciating sorrow that all of your invites uncannily seemed to have been "lost" in the mail, being the gracious blog-hostess with the mostest that I am, I risked life, limb, but most importantly career, snagging the script for you. I know what you're thinking, it musn't have been easy prying that puppy from ol' J.B.'s fingers. Well, I'll tell you what. It wasn't. However, I found it necessary for me to make such a sacrifice for you, my faithful readers. Now you can read the show and it will feel as if you were sitting right there in the soft seats. You're Welcome.

[Que music/lights. Enter Abby Jane stage left waving to audience. Que CHEERING/ APPLAUSE] Welcome! Welcome! Good to see you! Thank you! Thank you! You guys are too kind. Really. No. Really. STOP. Just Kidding. [Que CHUCKLE.
usic fades] Okay, seriously, though. Welcome to this season's results show for My Dears in the Headlights: A quiz of Toddler Verbage! [Que CHEERING/APPLAUSE] A very tough race this season. Yup, yup. A valiant effort by all, I must say. I, myself, was very pleased with the contestants--and thier answers! [Que SOFT CHUCKLE] Yup. Everyone gave it thier best shot. Though, for most that still wasn't good enough, but hey! There can only be one winner, right? [Que CHUCKLE] At any, rate, let's hear it for the contestants! [Que CHEERING/APPLAUSE] Yup, that's right you guys were amazing. Take a moment and give yourselves a pat on the back--okay, that's good enough! [Que CHUCKLE] No, seriously, though. Let's get down to business. [Que dramatic music/lights] The moment we've been waiting ALL season for...the winner of this season's My Dears in the Headlights: A quiz of Toddler Verbage is...

...Coming up right after this break. [Que DISAPPOINTED AWWHHH]

[Que music/lights. Que CHEERING/APPLAUSE] Welcome back! I know, I know. That was pretty cruel, huh? [Que soft CHUCKLE] Hey! Don't blame me. I don't write it, I just read it! [Que CHUCKLE] But, seriosly. Let's get back to it. The winner--that would be that person with THE MOST correct answers--of this season's My Dears in the Headlights: A Quiz of Toddler Verbage is...

...Malin-Da Szarek! [Que fantabulous music/lights/confetti/balloons/sparking cider/Cirque du Soleil/The Muppets/Brad Pitt. Que CHEERING/APPLAUSE]

Since Ms. Szarek was unable to be here tonight I will graciously and honorably accept this award in her behalf. And Melinda? If you are watching right now, don't forget to claim your prize by picking my very next post*! [Que OOOOOH/APPLAUSE]

Thanks for coming folks! And remember, friends don't let friends drive drunk. See you next season on My Dears in the Headlights: A Quis of Toddler Verbage! [Abby Jane dances with Brad Pitt. Fade all. Cut to credits]

So? Whad'ya think? Too bad you missed the live version. If you can believe it, it was even better than what you just experienced. Oh well. Maybe next season, eh?

Before I leave you, however, I want to pay tribute to a few honorable mentions that didn't get any coverage during the show--don't know why. You'll have to take that up with J-dog. An Honorable Mention is awarded to Annie for The Most Guesses for #2 (none of which were correct, by the way), my personal favorite being hors d'oeuvres --because yes, he is that sophisticated and we regularly speak french with him--how did you know? Another H.M. goes to Gina Bina for Most Correct Answers Having Never Met--or Spoken--to the Verbage Creator (Max) and to Erica for Best Use of Knowledge and Deductive Reasoning to Come up with any Answer--many of which were correct. Now. Last, but not most certainly not least, an Honorable Mention is awarded to Kristie for Most Creative Answers All Around. You really made me chuckle little woman. To view all answers, both correct and benine (my better half answered them all for us), simply click here. Just for kicks, here are a few bonus words:

1. Duh-day
2. Costoon
3. Nem'nems

*list of posts you may choose from is here.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Best Shirt Ever!

Sorry to jump in on you in the middle of a contest, Ab, but I just wanted everyone to see one of the funniest t-shirts ever!

Please continue reading below for Abby's contest.

Monday, August 11, 2008

My Dears In the Headights

A quiz of Toddler Verbage. Leave your comment with your answers. No cheating--in other words: no looking at grandmas' answers. I will, however, give one hint per entry, but only one. Simply ask for it in a comment by telling me the number you are desperately struggling with. Hints may include, but are not limited to, definitions, using in a sentence, pronunciation. Tip: I did not say that it was against the rules to read other contestants' hints...

I know what you're thinking, What's in it for me? Right? I will tell you. The winner--that would be the commenter with the most correct answers (sillies)--gets to choose a post from the list. Can you believe it??? How exciting! I'm tingling all over I'm so excited and I'm not even entering! I can't even imagine what you're doing. Maybe I don't want to...

Well, I won't keep you. After all, you have much work to do.

1. orport
2. O-ders
3. obeseum
4. Wolcom
5. suh-een
6. zoo cass
7. Kobee Kanobee
8. mermai-goon
9. Lie-neenakeen
10. shiny ahmer
11. thcum
12. languish
13. miracle round
14. esgo
15. Memo
16. sleebs
17. wizzle
18. benchtables
19. bay
20. Beauk
Contest ends no earlier than August 21, 2008. I'm really hoping this keeps you all busy for a while, so I can work on some new material.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Didn't you know...

Who has time to update a blog? Much less even complete a post, amidst all the Crystal Beach-age and Niagara Gorge-ing? Not I, said the little pig. So, I shall make you a deal. Below is a list of post titles I have started (and/or are still incubating in the womb of my magnificent mind) and have not yet reached their full...maturation, if you will. You, deeply analyze the list, decide which one most tickles your fancy, then leave your comment telling me which one you would like most to read about. I, in return, will...(drum roll please)...complete to its fullest potential and post the one with the most votes. I would like to promise that eventually I will post them all, but as my better half urges me to do time and time again with no avail, I will under promise and (hopefully) over deliver.

Any-hooter, without further ado, the list:

1. Earning Your Stripes--er, I mean, Staples
2. My Dears in the Headlights: A Quiz of Toddler Verbage
3. The Case of the Missing Slice
4. Worst Ideas Ever
5. Don't You Wish You'd Seen it First? (So You Could've posted it on Your Blog)

I know, right??? I mean, there are like sooo many to choose from! How in the name of all that is Candyland will you ever pick just one? Glad I'm not you. Your job is T-U-F-F.

Good Luck.