Former Soldiers

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T23:13:00.006-05:00

Cheers to more posts in 2012. How 'bout it folks?

i might as well post something. anything.

2011-05-26T23:24:00.002-04:00

even if it's something as silly as this:

i'm pretty sure i threw my keys away last thursday. it was late, i was tired, and upset at my bank. i wasn't thinking clearly. i checked the garbage can several times, though, i did not dump it out--i merely looked deeeeep inside it. the garbage has since been taken to the dump. thus, if my keys were in fact inside the garbage, they too are at the dump. this bums me out.

'tis the season

2010-10-14T01:13:00.007-04:00

for a frightening anecdote.

do enjoy.

once upon a time there was a girl named, well, this girl is me. she (me) having just made an unexpected--less than welcome--relocation across these great united states, has found herself mostly, ummm, friendless, if you will (will you?), and lonely. shocked? appalled? me too. but, allow me to point out that even the most outgoing of souls (which the aforementioned is often categorized) would feel much the same in a scenario such as hers. change is not her (my) forte. least of all the unexpected. yet, here she was. without friend--or foe, for that matter. (the glass is still half full, let us not forget.) one day, loins girded, she headed "downtown"* to her son's soccer game, where she told herself she was going to put some of her (my) incessant-need-to-talk-skills to good use, by approaching some of these women she has met once or twice in her recent comings and goings in her new small town. she did. in fact, she approached three women she'd seen here and there. she counted because she was nervous. unusually so. unfortunately, conversation wasn't exactly the friendship-blossoming, love-at-first-sight kind she'd hoped to strike. in other words, no play-dates were made. but it was a start. feeling proud of herself for taking the proverbial bull by it's accompanying horns, she (me) sat down on the blanket and patted herself on the back. it was then that she noticed...her sweater...was on...inside out.

like an unfastened balloon being released into the air, so went the wind from her sails.

happy halloween.

*come to my town. you will then see why i went so far as to quote downtown. (but seriously. come to my town. i would love a visitor.) and yes, it is commonly referred to as "downtown."

the mothership has called us home

2010-08-09T00:33:00.002-04:00

pilgrimage began saturday at 4 p.m.

set to end sometime monday afternoon.

*will someone (please) find me a razor...and some tweezers?

sing with me now...

2010-06-14T22:04:00.014-04:00

happy birthday to you! happy birthday to you!

...happy birthday, dear 1! happy birthday to you!

he finally got a bike. and he couldn't be happier.

there's a reason they have their own day.

2010-05-09T20:21:00.006-04:00

once upon a time on a lovely sabbath afternoon, a newly turned fifteen year old daughter asked her mother if she could drive the less than one mile from church to home. her mother kindly obliged. after all, what could happen? little did her mother know, how little the fifteen year old knew about driving...

upon turning on the engine, and placing the nay blue, wood paneled mini-van into gear, the car started moving. both feet placed comfortably on the floor beneath the driver's seat, the fifteen year thought, that's odd. i didn't even press the gas. which one is the gas? continuing to move forward, the fifteen year old spoke--audibly, this time--to the mother, "which one's the brake?"

words cannot justify the alarm the mother felt, not only when she realized the the giant error in judgement she had just exercised by ignoring the tiny screaming voice in her head by letting her fifteen year old drive, but more so when she realized what stood a mere twenty feet away, directly in front of the inexplicably (to the fifteen year old, that is) moving automobile: the beautifully landscaped lawn and church building as well as a tot and her father walking hand in hand on the way to their own car.

panicking, the mother glanced at the fifteen year old, who was still looking bewilderedly at the pedals beneath her, then to the people who's lives hung in the balance, and back to the fifteen year old who seemed oh so far away even though she was in the in the driver's seat right next to her. a split second decision. the mother lunged, nylons, sunday skirt, bouffant bob and all head first towards the fifteen year old's fumbling feet and pressed the brake pedal herself, with all knowing hands.

the mother up-righted herself. relieved, she looked at the two innocent lives she had just saved (who were only just realizing something was a wee hinky); triumphant, she re-fluffed her hair--who knew she was still that flexible? and livid she looked at the sheepishly grinning fifteen year old...

journey

2010-04-09T02:54:00.003-04:00

look at the time. it's late, i'm stressed, and i've got a mountain of work to do. but, luckily, i still have this family who hasn't disowned me. i went to the ipod for a bit of relief, and when this song came on i couldn't help but feel, with a few modifications, exactly like this guy:

(this is cheesy, but you'll have to deal with it. sorry.)

Jonathan Cain of Journey, "Faithfully"

Highway [computer battery] run into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round [pages turn right to left]
You're on my mind
Restless hearts sleep alone tonight
Sending all my love along the wire [g–chat, facebook, text, etc.]
They say that the road [law school]
ain't no place to start [raise] a family
Right down the line it's been you [and the things] and me
And loving a music [student] man
ain't always what it's supposed to be
Oh, Girl [and things]
you stand by me
I'm forever yours
faithfully

sorry for the cheese. just thought it was quite applicable. and i would imagine that everyone reading this has, at some point, felt very similar.

anyway...thank you, family, for putting up with me.

a poll

2010-03-28T22:50:00.005-04:00

neesh should quit her job.

well, one of us has to. otherwise we'll never see--or talk to--each other again. and seeing as her better half is gainfully and securely employed, i think it should be her.

all in favor? say 'aye.'

all the single ladies?

2010-03-14T20:57:00.000-04:00

take notes.

miss lorin's fabulous fours class, also known as favlious fours to some members of our family, has a class of mostly boys (poor woman), yet, 1 somehow, still surrounds himself with the ladies, albeit a minority in his class. i've heard much about one little lady in particular. grace. grace, the apple of 1's eye with whom he plays the affectionately titled game of 'babies' as well as others of the same home-economic nature at school: grace this. grace that. grace has beautiful* hair, mom. grace is so funny. grace and me don't use potty-talk like carter.

*i've seen the hair. it's regular, it's four year-old.

i thought it was his mad skillz--including, but not limited too, thinking all women, even in the wee hours of the morning with funky hair and the breath to match, are princesses and tells them so--that gave the aforementioned result.

we-he-hell...

i was going through stuff, decluttering the kitchen--namely, the never ending pile of to-do's and papers that i keep "neatly" stacked in the corner--i came across 1's valentines from his class mates. it was the usual stuff, you know, princesses and hello kitties from the girls, super heroes and lightning mcqueen from the boys. i chucked each one after i detached it's goody, some of which i consumed, and seeing who it was from. i paused when i came to grace's. wait for it...

a superman card, with matching superman tatoo.

it's not the hair, or his skillz, but hers.

huh.

2010-02-21T20:36:00.010-05:00

on our way home from our church meeting house after a very important baptism for a good friend's son--i was certain he didn't pay any attention, but coincidently (or not-so-much coincidently)--these deep thoughts were spurred.

thing 1: (exceedingly pensive) mom?

me: yes?

thing 1: do we have houses in heaven?

me: i guess so, we have to live somewhere (right?), but (in anticipation of another question) i don't know what they look like...

{pause}

1: mom?

me: yes?

1: can we move in heaven?

me: (using my deductive reasoning skills) you mean like...move houses?

1: no. like move around. (i look in the rear-view mirror to see him wiggle in his car seat further specifying his point)

me: yeah, you can...

{pause again.}

1: mom?

me: yeeesss?

1: so, can alex move? uncle alex?

huh. interesting.

it's my party, and i'll write what i want to

2010-02-11T05:12:00.007-05:00

today is my birthday, but it's a happy one because of my family. ab, max, and pear; i love you guys, i love my life because of you guys, and the best present* i could ask for today is another year to spend with you until my next happy berfday!

and while i'm posting on here, i've got a couple of other unrelated things:

first, i just saw that the reason you all have been deprived of this blog's principal author is because she has been saving her posts as drafts rather than publishing them. principal willing, i will release these drafts over the course of the next few weeks. (wow, this must be how that guy felt when he came across all of those tupac songs that were never released. except tupac was dead, so i guess my analogy is kind of crappy. but you get the idea, right?)

second, i'd just like to reiterate that the post directly below this post was not specifically aimed at me (nice strategy to wait until my happy berfday to bring this up, right?). it was directed at the kind of frustration that comes when a spouse drinks the last soda pap (yes, we've still got a little soldier in us), or when she––i mean they––hide the m and ms and tell you they're all gone. know what i'm sayin'? if not, let me help you.

close your eyes and imagine that you are stuck in a place where nearly all hope is lost, and you are despondently fighting against a great, impossible army. you look up and see that the enemy is about to swoop down and wring the very last drop of fight out of you, then suddenly realize that you have one final life-sustaining energy pack among your used-up bag of supplies. you hurry to get the sweet elixir, knowing that you must have it to sustain your fight––and your hope––one more day, only to find that it's been taken by your (sweet, innocent) partner––WHO ISN'T EVEN FIGHTING TODAY! as you shrink in despair, knowing that your time has surely come, the opposing army of things pounces. the first thing throws up on you. then the second thing poops in her armor and makes you clean it up.

now you know what i'm sayin'? see, the magical potion's absence only expedited the inevitable. it was the army of things that did all the dirty work.

*a small piece of cake would be nice, too. you're not totally off the hook.

maybe it was that time of the month

2009-12-22T13:01:00.014-05:00

maybe she had a headache.
maybe her better half had the audacity to run off to school for the day (a cold, blustery, wintry mix sort of day) with her last caffeinated beverage of choice.

just sayin.

i can totally sympathize with this penguin.

totally worth it

2009-11-29T22:01:00.009-05:00

i should be going to bed, or if not, at the very least i should be picking up the litter bucket i am trying to pass off as our home, but instead i keep popping cold ones, eating leftover feast food and flipping channels watching tail-end of movie after tail-end of movie. i'll probably be up until 1 a.m. again. except tomorrow i don't get to wake up at 10 a.m., or 9, or even 8. duty calls. darn it.

but, speaking of doo-dees. 2 is two. on wednesday. where does the time go? her favorite things as of late are to: throw--no, hurl--her plate, cup, utensils and any leftover food that may be on them as far as she can, cueing she is all done; yell at, not for, me when she cannot see me; keep her eye on the colony of fy's (flies, of which she is terrified) caught between 1's screen and window; and view the last 20 minutes of the sandlot just to watch the "doggy, fuh-fuh!" in which she is fascinated.

opinions about everything from shoes to sippies are more prevalent with each passing day. as are affinities for purses, puppies, and all things 1 is doing (much to his dismay). problem is, opinions and affinities are hard to express when they are coming out in another kind of language--one only you, the toddler, can understand. frustration is sort of cute when it takes the form of an immediate flop on the floor, head buried in hands, fake whimpers in tow. sometimes it is sort of not cute.

my favorite things about her? her belly. oh definitely that. her blonde, whispy resemblance of curls. the resilience and determination she is learning from having a headstrong, equally-determined playmate for an older brother (from which she is also learning the art of vibrato and the thrill of the spotlight). the tender way she wraps her wittle awms awound my neck to squeeze and pat. the immediate, heart-melting tears that come from being scolded, which, at age two, are to be construed as pure sensitivity. at age 16? most likely manipulation. a trait indubitably inherited from her mother. they will probably melt our hearts anyhow. they did her mother's parents.

if asked ten years ago, at age 17, what my dreams of adulthood entailed, i am certain i would not have made any indication that motherhood was one of them. i don't believe that it was. however, watching my children grow is truly a dream come true.

Love 'Em

2009-11-21T11:50:00.002-05:00

Saturday mornings.

Kids and Guns

2009-11-13T22:53:00.006-05:00

No Hypo this week. Sorry. But I do want to get your thoughts on kids and toy guns.

As a parent or potential parent, do you think it's okay to let your kids play with toy guns? If you say no and your child has friends with toy guns, does that bother you? Do you do anything about it? Any specific reason for your answer?

Thanks.

And just so you know, any view is welcome here.

Hypo Man 1

2009-10-30T10:32:00.002-04:00

Hello all. It's been a while.

Some of you have been to law school, and some of you are married to someone who has been to law school. You'll probably get where I'm coming from. For those of you with no experience to the weirdness that becomes of law students, allow me to explain a little bit. One of the biggest parts of law school is the hypothetical. Students read the cases, learn the laws of a certain area, and then (students or teachers) come up with some of the weirdest factual situations you could ever imagine to see how the law would apply according to those facts. Sometimes it's bizarre (think of frozen turkeys falling from an airplane in the sky and injuring people in a hotel's swimming pool); sometimes its morbid, which is what I'm going to present to you today.

Here's the deal. Law students, on average, are not as interesting as we think we are. (If you don't believe that the average law student thinks he or she is much more interesting than anyone else, just visit www.top-law-schools.com and read through some of the personal statements. It's a clinic in taking the ordinary and making it seem incredible.) So it basically comes down to this: I often grow tired of hearing what the not-as-interesting-as-advertised law student thinks (self included), and I want to know what you (i.e., the interesting reader) think.

Here you go. Fair warning, it might be slightly morbid. You have just been in a car accident and your car is at the bottom of a ravine in a river. You weren't wearing your seatbelt and were thrown from the car. Luckily you were uninjured, but your child was strapped in her car seat and is still in the car. You can see her, and the water is starting to slowly rise. She is starting to panic and struggle. The problem is that it is 100% certain you will not be able to reach your child before she dies, and if you try to get her it is 100% certain that you will die as well (you have a spouse and 4 other children at home, so you can't really kill yourself in an attempt to save her). Because you live in the ghetto you always have a gun, and you have a perfect shot. So your options are either (1) you can watch her drown (she will suffer), or (2) you can shoot her and kill her instantly (no suffering). There are no other options, and you are the only person around. What do you do? (Remember, it is certain that she will die either way and you can't do anything about it.)

If you said watch her drown, would your answer change if the car was not sinking, but instead it was on fire (meaning more suffering for a longer time)?

No matter what you answered, would it change if it were a stranger's child and you could see that the mother was already dead? (You were the only other person in the entire area, and you happened to witness the accident.)

Last one. If you were a juror in a case where a person had been charged with manslaughter for shooting the child in any of the situations above, would you vote to convict them? No to all three? Yes to all three? Yes to some no to some? Tell me what you think in the comments.

If the result is good, maybe I'll post more of these. If not, I'll just leave the blogging up to my wife. She's much better at it anyway.

What Does a Monkey Say?

2009-10-08T21:52:00.006-04:00

Yup. I feel like this* right now.

The files. They're in here. I've seen 'em. I just can't get 'em out.

Until I do, enjoy this. I know you will. Have seconds if you like. The boy loves an audience. Oh! I almost forgot. Turn the volume up.

*Adding insult to injury, that isn't even the link I'd originally found--it too is in the computer, but you get the gist.

note to self

2009-09-21T20:55:00.005-04:00

it's okay to feel this way:

you know, some days I feel down right cheated. not having him here. like a gaping hole has been dug deep in my chest and it can't be filled. the hole only hurts when i think about it. i try not to think about it. only on days like september 19 and november 13, and sporadically during the holidays. days when it would seem only appropriate, if not expected, to expose it--my gaping hole. even still, i try to do so on my own.

why does it feel this way? the sting gets more acute, deeper, the older i--and he--get. it, at times, overwhelms me. it pleases me to muse that with age, i possibly gain maturity. thus the brevity of a loss happening 12 years ago rings clearer to me now. more than it ever could at age 15. or at the very least differently: what would his wife have been like? his children? the hypotheticals dig it deeper. except when i think my son is a reincarnated him. i didn't know him then--at age 4. i've only heard stories. heaven help me if i am the mother to raise that reincarnated spirit. maybe that's part of it. the whole hole part. the filling it part, specifically.

**i don't know where she went. the witty me. sunnier skies perhaps...

A Bit of Nostalgia

2009-09-13T19:00:00.003-04:00

My brain has been inescapably swirling with memories from not so long ago--though, to me the time expired seems like light years, those older, wiser, and thus more mature than me would scoff at the mere under two decades of time ago in which some of the following things occurred. Perhaps as a result of recent re-connections with best buds and old friends via cyber-social networking sites and what have you. At any rate, I wanted to scribe them before they were once again lost in the archives. Enjoy...or not.

Disclaimer: This post will be nothing but yawns and "eh?"s, maybe a few "oh dear"s, to most of you, but if you need a good bed time story, feel free to read on. Don't say I didn't warn you. You too, Neesh.

Remember how we used to go out to eat at Brick Oven anytime it was conceivably possible? Mmmm. Ranch and mushrooms...
Remember how it was almost always someone's birthday, even if it wasn't?

Remember when one of us moved to Spanish Fork?
Remember when we all road the bus down there to visit her?
Remember how she introduced us to a guy that, "looked like Usher and danced like Puff Daddy?" Our words. No joke. Who knew...

Remember our annual Christmas parties?
Remember that year we had it on the floor in the University Mall because two of us had to work in that kiosk? I think that was one of the last ones...

Remember our massive sleepovers where we would stay up nearly all night and almost every time someone would end up at least partially nude (or even fully)--often outside?
Speaking of...remember the time when we slept at one of our dad's houses and decided to take a walk on the Riverside Golf Course with the boys (squeal) then we all tripped on that stupid string as we entered the course? (could've been just me)
Remember later that night how we all ended up outside lined up on Universtiy Ave entertaining cars as they drove by? Some of us more clothed than others? I wonder how many people laughed at us from their cars, "Poor little prepubescents...", they thought, shaking their heads as they drove on...

Remember when we toilet papered one of the boys's house (squeal) because we thought they were sleeping there?
Remember how his dad caught us? In his G's?

Remember how we used to spend our class periods writing notes to eachother?
Remember how the decor on the note took more thought and effort than the actual message?
Remember how along with note-writing came the drawing of elaborate so-and-so plus so-and-so pictures?

Remember KC and Jo Jo?
Remember MM Bop--still a fav--and Seven Peaks passes?

Remember how we were obsessed with the movie Titanic and each saw it about 19 times?
Remember how I bawled (more than the average female) everytime I saw it. It being released mere months after Alex passed away may have had an effect on that...
Remember how we waited for weeks for the soundtrack to come out and when one of us finally bought it, we listened to the theme song on repeat in one of our rooms for what seemed like hours on end with the lights off donned in trends from the local thrift store?

Remember rollerblading up and down Palisade Drive?
Remember walking EVERYWHERE?
Remember seeing movies at Wynnsong, then eating at Hogi Yogi?

Remember how one of us had a family that moved to Draper so one of us had went to Alta for like a day before she decided she hated it? Thank goodness for that--what would we have done with out Blake and Jer's?

Remember the giant community locker in D hall? How many of us did we have in there anyway?
Remember Mr. Downs?
Even better, remember Mr. Logan? Ugglh.
Even better yet, remember Mrs. Kummer? at Orem High??????

Remember how we used to plan to where pajamas to school?

Remember how we used to plan "Friday Outfits?" Then, slowly, we quit planning and began to just wear our pajamas anyway--even, if not especially, on Fridays?

Remember one of us FINALLY got a car? And it was blue. And it was out. of. this. world.
Remember how some of us helped that crossing guard after he fell and earned ourselves a free ice cream cone? Not that one should expect to be rewarded for doing good deeds, but an ice cream cone? We quite possibly saved that guys life.
Remember Delilah? I still love her.

Remember our trip to St. George?
Remember the Rococo?

Remember Jack Johnson, Kalai, and Ben Harper? Oi vey.
Remember South Fork?
In Fact, remember that two of us had an apartment? and a pager? Yup a pager. Weren't they a first to get a cell phone too? Whoa.

Remember taping episode after episode of Friends? If we'd only known that less than a decade later the ENTIRE collection would be available on DVD. It's a shame I still can't afford it...

Remember how dramatic we were about everything?
Remember fighting over boys, clothes, gossip and who knows what?
Remember becoming friends again after one of those blow outs?
Remember how we couldn't live with out each other back then?
Remember that with out any of these experiences, good and bad, happy or sad, we wouldn't be who we are today?

Sometimes I miss those days, but only because I miss the gals. Three cheers for best buds.

Please don't ever leave again.

AN AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was actually written several months ago whilst sitting upon my mother's couch. I believe it was May of '08, if we want to get technical. Obviously it was never posted. Who knows why I'm posting it now. Perhaps because it's a Sunday and I often get nostalgic and thoughtful--be that literally full of thought, not to be confused with the charitable definition of the same word--on the Sabbath. The same also happens when the kids are in bed, the T.V. is not on, and My Better Half is in his office studying. Consequently, the stars have aligned, all four of them, and I am extra-ly full of thought this eve.

Abby McIntier

2009-08-21T16:26:00.003-04:00

is starting to panic. Don't think its all going to fit in a 16 footer.
has angels for children who are very good at entertaining themselves for hours on end while in the car.
wants someone to remind her that she has angels for children and that she, herself, made that statement.
in seeing her stuff wishes she would have paid the extra money and gotten the bigger truck.
has to leave the dryer in Buffalo (stupid electric hook-up). One less thing that has to fit in the truck, I guess.
never realized how hairy and stinky all of her furniture was. One summer in a pet-free zone can really open your eyes.
Is it just her, or have we been here before? Appliance-less...
can't believe it all fit. Seriously.
really can't believe it all fit. Seriously. Minus the dryer, or course.
is going to miss the Casper Family (among others). They are pretty awesome.
gets a titty-bit embarrassed when her better half tells someone, "the tan one with the nice rack," is his, "Oh! You mean my wife. I thought you were talking about my new car." True story. Pun intended.
has to live in State College for how long??? Hoping it will grow on her.
feels nostalgic for Buffalo's Craigs List in her search for an electrically hooked-up dryer.
needs you to remind her about her children now.
remind her again.
Likes the friends her better half made on the internet. They don't mind sitting on hairy, stinky furniture.
found the Wegmans!
would like to thank the Academy (parents both blood and non) for getting us out the door and on the road in one piece.

In other words, these are the Facebook stati I would have posted had I owned a blackberry, iphone, or otherwise been continuously connected to the internet during the duration of our move.

We are here. I'm pretty sure we are happy. And we are safe.

We Made It

2009-08-17T23:30:00.002-04:00

We have moved to State College, Pennsylvania, and everything went and is going well. Abby will be posting updates in the next couple of days. Stay tuned...

If Looks Could Kill

2009-07-06T13:09:00.003-04:00

Currently

2009-06-26T12:03:00.006-04:00

Thing 2 is pacing aimlessly about The Dawg's* house, whining, signing and speaking more--sounds like, "mo"-- whilst reaching into oblivion in search of Blankie, whom I just put in the dryer. She saw me do this, but yet, somehow efforts such as these will make Blankie reappear in places like the fron stairway and behind the family room couch. Eventually they will, I suppose. In about 45 minutes. Hope she recognizes it. It will no longer don a grey and mauve , but a glowing pink and white. Max has lovingly lent her Yellow for the time being--not Blue because,"Just...he's my too special one, Mom."

My Better Half is sleeping away his 9 hour drive to Los Angeles. He arrived at 4 am this morning. Gustave, his Kentucky friend, is getting married. I did not get to with him. I did talk him into it, though. Originally being oppposed to the idea, it turned out not to be as hard as I thought, to change his mind. However, in whirl of turned-out-to-be-futile eyelash batting and seduction at My Better Half--don't act like you've never done it--I forgot to do the same to my superiors at the Gap. Of course, I don't think that would have worked anyway. I'm pretty sure most of them are interested in men, and doing so may have only angered them into a jealous frenzy as I have fabulous eyelashes. 'Guess requesting the time off may have also been an effective tactic. Really, I blame Gus. Had more than 3 weeks notice been given for this shin-dig, I may have been able to pull some strings.

The above kind of sums me up too, I guess. Having awoken to overcast skies this morning only furthered my L.A.-less, funk-of-a-mood. The sun is peaking through the clouds now. Consequently, my frown is turning upsidedown. Aunt-a-Buddah's** ipod is now almost fully charged meaning I can finish watching season 1 of The Secret Life of the American Teenager. I am not ashamed, nor am I frowning in the least anymore. Grinning from ear to ear. Too bad you can't see me. I haven't brushed my teeth yet. Wait. Maybe the sun isn't peaking through the clouds at all. It's just me. I am creating this. In my unexpected turn-a-bout demeanor I've willed myself into seeing sunshine. Let me go check.

...checking...

Nope. The sun is really out. Would've been cool if it was me, though. Admit it. Now. Despite what you may be thinking, I have a plan for today. It is to watch the aforementioned super cool show, occasionally interspersing an Arrested Development episode, whilst folding my mountain peak of laundry. There must be fault activity 'round the mount as it keeps growing. 'Course, the sunshine is bursting its way through the atmosphere now with unstoppable force. I may have to tackle Mount Laundro-nogus later this evening. I think that sounds like a good plan. I think Thing 1 will feel okay about this.

He is currently watching a recent obsession--due to an also recent birthday gift from a friend-- involving a latin fellow named Manny and his flock of talking tools. And sucking on his fingers. My thoughts exactly. An interesting thing about 1, is that he turned 4. Though, not exactly on the day he thought. According to him, June 14 (pronounced "fourn-teenth") was Father's Day. Having been so busy with moves and road trips until only days before the real June 14, we took advantage of 1's lack of conception of all things time, and the congruent compilation of My Better Half's blood relatives to celebrate his birthday then. Now, also according to him, he turned 5 on Wednesday (two days ago) when we celebrated his birthday again, this time with my blood relatives. He took this as his next birthday, rather than just an additional birthday celebration. I've spent some time undoing this. For now, he's 4. I think I got it to stick. We'll see.

The ipod is charged.

*Neesh-Dawg, Nicea Gedicks, mi Madre.
**Thing 1's pronunciation at age 2 of Aunt Amanda, mi smallo sistero. May the Lord bless her for leaving her technology with me this day.

The Last Days

2009-05-30T03:19:00.003-04:00

I know at one point tonight I was asleep. I'm not sure which. However, I am pretty sure the point in which I woke up was when My Better Half came in to bed after readying our ipod for this weeks cross-country adventure, saw the dog and broke down. It is now 3:30 in the morning. I've been up since 2. In approximately 4 hours I am to drop Elder off at the repair shop for an oil change and an air conditioner fan motor...thingy. Approximately 1 and 1 half hours from that the rescue shelter in which we've entrusted our precious Clementine, is coming to retrieve her. Somewhere betwixt Elder's and Clementine's appointments I must retrieve my children from their impromtu sleepover at the Dayton's so as to say goodbye to our family canine and also our home. It is finally here. Just some sweepage and wipage of the joint and we are on our way. I don't really know why I am crying at this point. I cried--for days, I might add--when I had to move to this "God-awful" place, remember??? What is the deal??? I better compose myself before my tears create more water damage in My Better Half's computer. He might not be too happy about that, especially considering he just got it back this morning. Anyway. Change is hard. I've never liked change. In fact, I am down right terrified of change. Change should only be something loose that you find in the pocket of your jeans or unexpectedly in the couch. That is good change. The other kind always makes me cry and worry if we've made correct decisions. Fear of the unknown, I guess. Fear of unforseen elements. When Thing 1's development in my womb had reached the point where it was worthy of comments like, "Lady, you are having this baby to-day, aren't you?" (Ha Ha. No actually. I have 4 more weeks, you sensitive male. Are you saying I'm fat?), I remember these distinct, slightly disturbing, thoughts in my head: "Oh dear, Ab, what have you gotten yourself into? What were you thinking??? You weren't. And now you're having a baby. You have to have this baby. It has to come out of you. There is no turning back. You can't woose out, fake an injury so you don't have to perform labor. Hide. No. You have to give birth to this...thing." I am not exactly sure why this is relevant to the situation. Perhaps it is because I've reached this point in our move. There is no turning back. Perhaps is it because My back hurts so bad from all bending and lifting that is entailed in moving that it feels like I am going into labor. That is also a viable relevancy. I guess, what I do know is that I am truly going to miss this place. Place meaning our apartment, and its early 20th century fabulousness and location, but mostly dirty, gritty, real, diamond-in-the-rough Buffalo, NY. The 198. Our Ward building that is painted like a fast food joint (then you realize it has a steeple, so it isn't. Then you notice the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints sign and think, Huh. Wierd. They don't usually look like that.) that resides across from the Catholic projects. Mayor Brown and the amount of times he says the phrase City of (or people) of Buffalo, EVERYTIME he is on the news. Our friends both student and non. The accent (oh how I'll miss the accent). Hertel. Shopping at the garage, the estate, or the curb. Man I have loved this place. Who knew? And now we are leaving it. Who knew? Pray for us in our new adventure, most especailly that Elder has the estimated 6000 miles he has planned for him this summer, but also for Clem that she will be happy and healthy and not miss us like we will miss her.

Over and Out,
Former Soldiers

Come on, people

2009-05-19T17:56:00.003-04:00

OK, I wanted to tell you that I just cashed in my swagbucks for an amazon giftcard. What did I do to earn this giftcard? I searched the internet with swagbucks.com instead of google. What are you waiting for? And for those of you who did sign up, congratulations. Hopefully you use it and earn yourself some cool stuff. For the rest of you, here you go:

Click on this!

My Shameless Promotion

2009-05-07T21:25:00.004-04:00

OK, here I go promoting services.

I'm sure most of you use yahoo or google or something similar for searching the Internet. You hook them up when you click on the links they provide, but do they ever pass it along to you? NO!

Enter Swagbucks. Swagbucks is a search engine just like yahoo, google, etc., and when you search with them they randomly give you "swagbucks" for doing so. A swagbuck is the same thing as a credit card reward point or something like that (except you don't have to buy stuff to get rewards--you just have to search the Internet like you already do). After you have accumulated swagbucks you can hop online and redeem them for cool stuff like amazon.com gift cards and other things you might like.

If you create an account under my link, I get a swagbuck for every swag buck you earn (up to the first 100), and you get the same thing if people create an account under you. See, all the benefits of a MLM without having to pay 100 dollars a month for an exotic juice that will cure the cancer your bound to get if you don't drink the juice. (Did that make any sense?) And just so you know, you do have to create an account (how else would they keep track of your swagbucks) but it's completely free.

So next time you hop on google to search for something, just think, you'd be banking swagbucks if you were at swagbucks.com instead. Try it out, tell your friends to try it out, and enjoy all the cool stuff you're going to get.

Check it out HERE (Remember to use this link so I get hooked up for your first 100 bucks!)

OK here's the catch. Just kidding. Here's more stuff I didn't add in the post. You can only win once a day from searching. You usually win one swag buck, but you can sometimes win 2, 5, or 10 swagbucks. You can also earn swagbucks by recycling old cell phones or using their discount codes at online stores like walmart.com. Another way to win swagbucks is to become their fan on facebook. They always have free giveaways, trivia, and stuff like that for their fans.

While we're on the subject

2009-05-06T19:36:00.006-04:00

Max (bewildered after hearing a strained grunt in the distance): What is Daddy doing?
Mom: Sounds like he's going stinky, bud.
Max: Oh.

After a brief ponder, Max removes himself from his chair and putters down the hall toward the bathroom.

Max (bursting with empathy): Do you need me to rub your back to help you get it out, Dad?

We ain't makin' this up. We couldn't if we tried.

more max

2009-05-03T22:34:00.002-04:00

I never meant for this to turn into the blog of my son's funny sayings, but this one was just too good to pass up:

Dad gives Max an orange.
Max replies: I love oranges. They make me want to rule the world!

This boy is such a treat sometimes.

Crazy Mormons

2009-04-14T18:51:00.003-04:00

Max, is Perry a child of God?

Yes!

Are you a child of God?

No, I'm a big brother of God!

Oh, really? What about mommy and daddy?

Mommy is a mother of God and daddy is a father of God.

Update

2009-04-06T16:39:00.002-04:00

I'm not even going to try to match my wife's wittiness, so I'll just cut right to the chase on what's new with us. We have decided that we are going to be going to Happy Valley for the summer and we'll be leaving the beloved (not sarcastic--we have really grown to love this place) Buffalo the first of June. Hopefully I will pass my comprehensive exams on May 23rd (prayers are not only welcomed but encouraged) and we will be officially done with this stage of our lives. If not, I'll have to come back again in September for round two. It won't be the end of the world, but kind of annoying.

If nothing changes between now and then, we will be leaving Happy Valley, UT and travelling back across the country where the family will set up shop for the next three years in Happy Valley, PA while I set up shop in this incredibly awesome building! BOOYA!! (By the way, the library provides a fantastic view of one of college football's greatest stadiums. If you come visit, I'll be happy to show you! Disclaimer: The quality of football played at said stadium may or may not have been an influential factor in the decision making process.)

We are still playing the waiting game with a few places and the wait list game with some other places, so, although these are our plans for now, there is still a small chance that they may change. But the plans to be in Happy Valley, UT for the summer are pretty much certain. Hope to see a lot of you soon!! HOLLA!

A Note to the Fine Print

2009-03-03T14:09:00.002-05:00

(1) acceptance =/= attending, moving, or any of the sort.
(acceptance does not equal attending)

(2) acceptence --?--> attending, moving, etc.
(acceptance MAY lead to attending)

Can you tell that I took a break from my homework to write this?

Holla

2009-03-02T15:39:00.007-05:00

...for the Buffalo's Soldiers Giveaway! That's right. For the first time ever My Better Half and I are sponsering a GVIEAWAY. Are you ready? The first 25 people to comment with your email address on this post will recieve a FREE email for 30% off all of your purchases made March 13-16, 2009 at all Gap locations. This is where we holla. You know you want to win it. Entries must be receiced by 9 a.m. Eastern Time on Tuesday, March 3, 2009. That would be tomorrow folks. Some restrictions may apply*. Good luck. And don't forget to Holla!

*Restrictions are to be read aloud, qickly, and muffled. Ready. Set. READ! Residents of Buffalo and surrounding suburbs are not eligible. Emailing it to you would be plain silly. I can hand deliver an invitation to you. Rights are reserved to give preference to those belonging to my family tree if needs be, as well as the right to combine members of my family tree who live geograpohically close to one another so as to leave room for more winners. I reserve the right for you to conduct yourself in whatever way possible to ensure you are among the 25 who win. Bribes are accepted. Speaking of acceptances, My Better Half was just accepted to the University of Louisville Brandeis School of Law. Holla. Thing 2 recently bumped her head on the filing cabinet giving her a lump and a mild scratch as I typed out this post. Ouch. Thing 1 locked himself in Clementine's crate also whilst typing this post. Thank you. Have a great day. Did I just hear you holla?

So...

2009-02-18T19:47:00.013-05:00

I joined Facebook today. Actually, that is a half truth. It wasn't today. Nor was it me. Which, I guess, if you're being technical, makes that statement a flat out lie. Whatever. My Better Half did it. I was sitting right next to him as he furiously clicked away creating my online persona. I told him I not to do it. I told him I wasn't ready. Ready for the commitment Facebooking (I believe is the correct terminology) would entail. He wouldn't listen. Thus, I have an account and profile giving me open access to my increasing* number of friends' profiles and a whole can 'a worms. I am reeling from all of the excitement, chaos, and suffrage of an intense fear of Facebook rejection. What if So-And-So from Way-Back-When doesn't want to be my friend? Afterall, it has been a long time. There might be a real reason we haven't spoken for a while... It seems to me, though, if someone requested to be my real-life friend I would never deny them friendship. Nor would you. That would be blatently rude. Jesus said love everyone. Treat them kindly too. But. What if Facebookers don't share this same charitable attitude??? I am not sure I am ready for that kind of stress-inducing agony. Furthermore, Say So-And-So does forgive me for my transgressions of Way-Back-When and does accept my e-friendship. What do I do with it? Do I really catch-up with this person? Does this person really want to catch up with me? How is it done? If So-And-So writes on my "wall" and asks me a question, how do I respond? I'm all a mess of sweaty palms and social anxiety--if you can even call it that, as Facebook is not exactly social, per se.

*My Better Half tells me that this number will surely decrease. Especially since I am simply not as cool as he. This is true. Why do you think I married him?

What I Just Heard: Second Edition

2009-01-18T18:35:00.002-05:00

Max: "What's wrong with baby Perry?"

Mom: "She's got an ear infection."

Max: "A ear in-fec-shun?"

Mom: "Yep, that's right."

Max: "Does that mean they're gunna have ta CUT OFF HER EAR?"

a month and a half late

2008-12-13T00:45:00.003-05:00

If you know Terry, you should love this video. If not, you might like it anyway.

How I feel:

2008-12-06T15:20:00.001-05:00

Something Special Happened Yesterday.

2008-12-03T20:32:00.001-05:00

Thing 2 had a birthday. Yup. She did. She is 1 years old. All morning long Thing Uno and I sang Happy Birthday to her. Of course, 1 sang the lesser known part of, NO! It's not her birfday party! We only sing Happy Birfday at birfday parties! By 10 a.m., however, Thing 2 grew weary of Happy Birthday. She stopped clapping after each rendition, which is a pretty big deal considering she just learned how and never ceases to do so. Apparently, she'd had all the Happy Birthday she could handle. Fortunately for her, my Better Half and I are carrying on the traditions of my father--er mother, rather--and did not have any festivities planned for today (as in the actual day of her birthday) other than the spontaneity of song-bursting. What? He's got tests and I've got 5 a.m. Weekends are much better for us. Though, I didn't have to teach seminary that morning and should have had a tad more energy--should being the operative word--and would have, had any of my (two) students let me know they were honoring Thing 2's b-day by sleeping in--a.k.a. NOT SHOWING. 6 a.m. no shows make for an angry anybody, let alone a mom with two Things. I pray every night that my Things will simply skip over ages 13-17 and grow into attractive, wise young adults. I am pretty sure with all the teenage angst--including my own hole-in-the-wall-kicking years--I've experienced in my wee little lifetime The Man will grant me this wish. Yup. Pretty sure.

Digressions aside, Thing 2, here are some of the reasons we adore you. I will refrain from listing the things that we...uh...don't adore in the very small instance that you do not skip your teenage years. That way when you read this, you can't blame your horrible, no good, very bad LIFE on me and the things I said when you were 1. Ha.

We adore you because:

you might love playing peek-a-boo more than you love us. I have a video, but my Better Half has not given clearence as to its post-age yet--just FYI.
you just got your first teeth, just shy of a year, and you've figured out how to use one of them to bite with.
you still look like you did at 9 months old, thus, keeping you little, and me with out hunger for another.
you give loves--performed by placing one's head onto anothers' shoulder--to any and everything, dirty old rugs included, especially when you're tired.
you let us hold you once in a while.
you have the baldest head this side a'the Mis'sippi.
you love your blanket with all your might, mind and strength. We can tell this by the technique in which you tackle it upon sight.
anytime we sing to you, you join in with your own melody, duh-duh, da, duh-duh... Sometimes you even lead.
you giggle kick every time we come to retrieve you from your crib.
you are precious, adorable, and full of life.
you are you.

Happy Boody to ya, 2.

We wish you every happiness. May you forgive us for your chaotic, unconventional life which was the causing of many of your nap-skippings and the learning of nothing more than sarcasm and wit.

reasons to visit (besides seeing our cheerful faces).

2008-11-30T19:52:00.005-05:00

slideshow

even cougar fans should get a kick out of this!!

2008-11-29T14:43:00.001-05:00

And So it Begins

2008-11-18T14:06:00.010-05:00

I've been feeling rather uninspired lately. Perhaps its the lack of sleep accompanying recent responsibilities, combined with current responsibilities, and a (not-exactly-sure-how-I-feel-about) resurrection of yet another responsibillty*. It could also be this twinging guilt imbedded deep in my gut reminding me of all the loved ones I've neglected lately, having left you destitute in a desolate land filled only with my better half's handful of mini posts--certainly not enough material to satisfy all four of our followers. Though, entertaining as they may be, these deep thoughts of his serve no real insight to the McIntier Reparte except to reveal what exactly my better half is actually "studying". Ummm, ya. At any rate, whatever the reason, I find myself museless, and to no avail as today is no different--but wait. It is.

Good Mornin' Lake Erie!

We've missed you, though I am sure you'll wear out your welcome in the upcoming months.

In other news: I've cut my hairs.** Perry, after a long awaited 11 months, has cut her first tooth--er teeth, she now has 4 and is working on numbers 5 and 6. We expect their arrival any day now. I've turned one year older (and wiser too). Jeff and I finally buckled under the pressure, signed a two year agreement with T-mobile, giving us new--and free, I might add--telecommunicaters, thus making us the proud owners of two fully functional (as in no duct tape, cracked screens, or water damage) cell phones: One pink, one blue. Yay for us. And Max still can't say Niagara Falls correctly.

*I ain't fishin' nor complainin'. I'm just sayin'. Been busy lately.
**I do have more than one, you know.

Do you think this would have changed things???

2008-11-10T09:19:00.004-05:00

For Tupac (and Richard)

2008-11-05T21:31:00.002-05:00

the only thing i can think of to say

2008-11-05T11:21:00.002-05:00

It's too bad that Tupac had to miss this!

(Check out lines 9 and 10 of verse two.)

Current Responsibilities

2008-10-31T08:42:00.000-04:00

Comparing Alternative Investments

2008-10-17T09:23:00.005-04:00

Dan Wetzel, a Yahoo sports writer, on gambling and college football:

"Now, we aren’t advocating the good folks in Nevada – the only folks that gamble on college football, of course – might consider these past results a predictor of future ones. If you’re crazy enough to wager on the performances on college kids, that’s your issue.

Fortunately in the other 49 states the government prohibits people putting money into a system with wild fluctuations, unpredictable results and the very real possibility that underhandedness and dishonesty have fixed the outcome.

Politicians know the stock market is a much safer and honest place for retirement funds."

HAH!!

For Ms Carpet:

2008-10-15T22:23:00.002-04:00

You better believe we respect the Mississippi Mudflap!

I'm his friend...

2008-10-15T21:08:00.003-04:00

Maybe the old man is just slurring his speech, but I swear John McCain just called his opponent "Sinner Obama." Subliminal message there? I guess if you got really excited and didn't enunciate properly senator could become sinner (try saying senator as fast as you can--you'll see), but I think it was just a well placed attack!!! I've got to give credit to the McCain camp on this one...very tricky!!

Someone got a haircut!!

2008-10-14T19:44:00.002-04:00

What I just heard from the bathroom

2008-10-14T11:27:00.005-04:00

Max:

"Hey can someone get this down for me!?!"

5 seconds pass

"Hey!! Mom!! Can you get this down for me?"

4 seconds pass

"ANYONE!! CAN ANYONE GET THIS DOWN!?!"

2 seconds pass

"HEY, ONE OF MAX'S PARENTS!! GET HIS DOWN FOR ME!! ONE OF MAX'S PAAAAAAA-RENTS"

a few more seconds

Abby: "What do you need?"

Max: "I need this thing down."

Abby: "No sweetie, we're not going to do that today."

5 seconds pass

"HEY, DAAAADYYYY!!!"

Help for a friend

2008-09-23T12:05:00.002-04:00

One of my former mission companions has been chosen as a finalist in a competition through Wells Fargo to win $100,000. If you have a few extra minutes, and wouldn't mind helping out, you can access his story here:

http://memelabs.com/somedaystories/

He is Danny from UT.

I know how hard it is to be a student and a father (his wife is expecting), and this would really help him out. If you have time and could vote, we would all really appreciate it! Thanks!

Although Arizona might be feisty, I think I'd take Chicago in THIS matchup!

2008-09-22T12:25:00.006-04:00

From ESPN's magazine:

The NFL DEFINITELY should have scheduled the Arizona Cardinals vs. the Chicago Bears for the Monday night game the day before the election. How great would that have been?!

My Dears in the Headlights: A quiz of Toddler Verbage

2008-08-24T21:49:00.010-04:00

Results 2008!

As many of you were unable to attend the results show for this season's contest , and feeling excruciating sorrow that all of your invites uncannily seemed to have been "lost" in the mail, being the gracious blog-hostess with the mostest that I am, I risked life, limb, but most importantly career, snagging the script for you. I know what you're thinking, it musn't have been easy prying that puppy from ol' J.B.'s fingers. Well, I'll tell you what. It wasn't. However, I found it necessary for me to make such a sacrifice for you, my faithful readers. Now you can read the show and it will feel as if you were sitting right there in the soft seats. You're Welcome.

[Que music/lights. Enter Abby Jane stage left waving to audience. Que CHEERING/ APPLAUSE] Welcome! Welcome! Good to see you! Thank you! Thank you! You guys are too kind. Really. No. Really. STOP. Just Kidding. [Que CHUCKLE.
usic fades] Okay, seriously, though. Welcome to this season's results show for My Dears in the Headlights: A quiz of Toddler Verbage! [Que CHEERING/APPLAUSE] A very tough race this season. Yup, yup. A valiant effort by all, I must say. I, myself, was very pleased with the contestants--and thier answers! [Que SOFT CHUCKLE] Yup. Everyone gave it thier best shot. Though, for most that still wasn't good enough, but hey! There can only be one winner, right? [Que CHUCKLE] At any, rate, let's hear it for the contestants! [Que CHEERING/APPLAUSE] Yup, that's right you guys were amazing. Take a moment and give yourselves a pat on the back--okay, that's good enough! [Que CHUCKLE] No, seriously, though. Let's get down to business. [Que dramatic music/lights] The moment we've been waiting ALL season for...the winner of this season's My Dears in the Headlights: A quiz of Toddler Verbage is...

...Coming up right after this break. [Que DISAPPOINTED AWWHHH]

[Que music/lights. Que CHEERING/APPLAUSE] Welcome back! I know, I know. That was pretty cruel, huh? [Que soft CHUCKLE] Hey! Don't blame me. I don't write it, I just read it! [Que CHUCKLE] But, seriosly. Let's get back to it. The winner--that would be that person with THE MOST correct answers--of this season's My Dears in the Headlights: A Quiz of Toddler Verbage is...

...Malin-Da Szarek! [Que fantabulous music/lights/confetti/balloons/sparking cider/Cirque du Soleil/The Muppets/Brad Pitt. Que CHEERING/APPLAUSE]

Since Ms. Szarek was unable to be here tonight I will graciously and honorably accept this award in her behalf. And Melinda? If you are watching right now, don't forget to claim your prize by picking my very next post*! [Que OOOOOH/APPLAUSE]

Thanks for coming folks! And remember, friends don't let friends drive drunk. See you next season on My Dears in the Headlights: A Quis of Toddler Verbage! [Abby Jane dances with Brad Pitt. Fade all. Cut to credits]

So? Whad'ya think? Too bad you missed the live version. If you can believe it, it was even better than what you just experienced. Oh well. Maybe next season, eh?

Before I leave you, however, I want to pay tribute to a few honorable mentions that didn't get any coverage during the show--don't know why. You'll have to take that up with J-dog. An Honorable Mention is awarded to Annie for The Most Guesses for #2 (none of which were correct, by the way), my personal favorite being hors d'oeuvres --because yes, he is that sophisticated and we regularly speak french with him--how did you know? Another H.M. goes to Gina Bina for Most Correct Answers Having Never Met--or Spoken--to the Verbage Creator (Max) and to Erica for Best Use of Knowledge and Deductive Reasoning to Come up with any Answer--many of which were correct. Now. Last, but not most certainly not least, an Honorable Mention is awarded to Kristie for Most Creative Answers All Around. You really made me chuckle little woman. To view all answers, both correct and benine (my better half answered them all for us), simply click here. Just for kicks, here are a few bonus words:

1. Duh-day
2. Costoon
3. Nem'nems

*list of posts you may choose from is here.

Best Shirt Ever!

2008-08-12T00:16:00.006-04:00

Sorry to jump in on you in the middle of a contest, Ab, but I just wanted everyone to see one of the funniest t-shirts ever!

Please continue reading below for Abby's contest.

My Dears In the Headights

2008-08-11T23:12:00.004-04:00

A quiz of Toddler Verbage. Leave your comment with your answers. No cheating--in other words: no looking at grandmas' answers. I will, however, give one hint per entry, but only one. Simply ask for it in a comment by telling me the number you are desperately struggling with. Hints may include, but are not limited to, definitions, using in a sentence, pronunciation. Tip: I did not say that it was against the rules to read other contestants' hints...

I know what you're thinking, What's in it for me? Right? I will tell you. The winner--that would be the commenter with the most correct answers (sillies)--gets to choose a post from the list. Can you believe it??? How exciting! I'm tingling all over I'm so excited and I'm not even entering! I can't even imagine what you're doing. Maybe I don't want to...

Well, I won't keep you. After all, you have much work to do.

1. orport

2. O-ders

3. obeseum

4. Wolcom

5. suh-een

6. zoo cass

7. Kobee Kanobee

8. mermai-goon

9. Lie-neenakeen

10. shiny ahmer

11. thcum

12. languish

13. miracle round

14. esgo

15. Memo

16. sleebs

17. wizzle

18. benchtables

19. bay

20. Beauk

Contest ends no earlier than August 21, 2008. I'm really hoping this keeps you all busy for a while, so I can work on some new material.

Didn't you know...

2008-08-05T00:37:00.011-04:00

IT'S SUMMER???

Who has time to update a blog? Much less even complete a post, amidst all the Crystal Beach-age and Niagara Gorge-ing? Not I, said the little pig. So, I shall make you a deal. Below is a list of post titles I have started (and/or are still incubating in the womb of my magnificent mind) and have not yet reached their full...maturation, if you will. You, deeply analyze the list, decide which one most tickles your fancy, then leave your comment telling me which one you would like most to read about. I, in return, will...(drum roll please)...complete to its fullest potential and post the one with the most votes. I would like to promise that eventually I will post them all, but as my better half urges me to do time and time again with no avail, I will under promise and (hopefully) over deliver.

Any-hooter, without further ado, the list:

1. Earning Your Stripes--er, I mean, Staples
2. My Dears in the Headlights: A Quiz of Toddler Verbage
3. The Case of the Missing Slice
4. Worst Ideas Ever
5. Don't You Wish You'd Seen it First? (So You Could've posted it on Your Blog)

I know, right??? I mean, there are like sooo many to choose from! How in the name of all that is Candyland will you ever pick just one? Glad I'm not you. Your job is T-U-F-F.

Good Luck.

2008-07-18T10:51:00.006-04:00

My friend maintains a truly entertaining blog. It is among the top 10 blogs I check when I only have about 8 minutes of time to waist (before I have to get back to responsibility) just to see if she's posted another tasty nugget of literary delight for me to consume. She, of course, introduced me to this gem-of-a-blog, for which I am profoundly grateful. Now I am able to stretch my 8 minutes into 12 effortlessly. Thank you Gina, I am seriously so blessed to have your blogging in my life.

You're all wondering if your blogs made it in to my top 10 aren't you? Aren't you? You'll never know...

help

2008-07-16T11:11:00.001-04:00

can somebody tell me how to post a link in a comment.

Do you remember...

2008-07-16T09:22:00.003-04:00

When I confessed that I was happy with the increase in gas prices? And do you remember how all of you myopic people just stared at me like I was an idiot? Well, maybe I was onto something!

At least THIS GUY thinks so.

Job Interview Tip

2008-07-09T13:03:00.004-04:00

For those of you who are about to enter the workforce, please read THIS.

Some Pics

2008-07-09T11:30:00.006-04:00

Adventures in Laundro-land

2008-06-30T23:21:00.002-04:00

As my better half posted previously, we've been spending some time at the laundromat. We will be spending more time there if we don't find us one-a-them warshing machines soon.* The most recent stint was spent by yours truly and was my first experience at such a venue. Contrary to my expectations, however, I did not leave the place feeling dirtier (as I do most of Buffalo's public places inhabited by the poor and lowly) then when I entered--nor did my clothes. This is what I like to call a success! In fact, I dare say, I actually enjoyed my visit to the laundromat. Who wouldn't want to wash and dry several loads of laundry all at the same time while watching Ellen on a fuzz-less** television? Exactly. The down side? You have to pay to ride this ride. That being said, I will tell you what else I saw (Ellen wasn't the only entertainment on the docket, my friends) and you can tell me if would be worth it to you to pay $3.00 a load to see (and do) such things:

1. A man donned in a baby blue velour jogging suit (complete with bling and afro) strut his stuff around the joint as if he owned the place. Then later see him strutting his shirtless self around the joint and begin to think, maybe he does own the place because it is not that hot outside. Only to find out that he did not, in fact, own the place, but just needed to wash the shirt off his back as I witnessed him pulling the shirt out of the dryer, sniffing it, and apparently satisfied with its freshness, replacing it on his torso. Literally ALL of his laundry was done. Although, that was the only piece of laundry I actually saw him with the entire two hours I was there...

2. A nice girl, friend of Baby Blue (I know not if they were friends prior to this outing, but three shared nicotine breaks later? Buddies for life) needed to wash her sneakers. A quick cycle from the industrial strength machine and they were ready for the dryer. Unfortunately (for whom, I'm not sure) as the now clean sneakers (and other apparel) tumbled 'round n' 'round in the dryer, they kept knocking the door open, sending items, including iddy-biddies, flying through the air onto the tile below. She, having stepped outside for one of the aforementioned "breaks", was oblivious to the lacy pink scandal that lay about the floor. I looked around to see who was watching. No one. Good. Then, turning my gaze to what lay at my feet, I contemplated, Do I pick it up? It's a thong! A pink lacy thong! Stream of consciousness continued: Of course, it has just been washed. I can't just pretend I didn't see it, it's RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Having already seen a man perform a similar deed for her the first time the dryer door bounced open (though, I am certain he did it more for his own pleasure than anything), I decided I would do the same samaritous act. WWJD. Thumb and forefinger in position, I bent over, plucked the lacies from the ground and returned them to their home, suppressing the urge to gag and shudder. There, I thought as I dusted off my hands.

3. Ever wonder how the African American male is able to walk whilst his trousers slink around his thighs? Well, let me tell you: After Baby Blue was again fully clothed (see #1) , I watched him take the front of his excruciating large velour pants (did I mention they were baby blue?) tie the drawstring loosely, take a safety pin, and--wait for it--fasten the front and center of the waistband to his boxers. Thus, leaving the rear of his pants to sag ever so deliberately beneath his buttocks. Who'd a thunk? I say, pure unadulterated genius.

Until next time, I'm Abby Jane. Tune in next week for more adventures in laundro-land, as we still have not a washing machine.*

*How is one supposed transport a washing machine(s) found for screaming deals on Craig's list to its new home in a 1999 Toyota Corolla? Exactly.

**our current T.V. status is such: CW, Fox=clear as day; ABC=watch-able, but snowy; NBC, CBS=non-existent (ba-bye Oprah).

Shrinkage

2008-06-26T22:36:00.007-04:00

I'm blogging from the comfort of my shrink's office and it is fantastic. Yes, that's right; I'm seeing a shrink. In fact, our whole family has been seeing this shrink for about a month now and I have to tell you that I am completely satisfied. I only have one picture of our shrink, and it's not that good, but it will have to suffice for now. I'm sure we will post some more later.

Here:

Ours is the one on the upper left. Ahhh...just looking at it makes me happy inside.

And in an extremely random turn of events, the upper right will belong to our new friends Taylor and Laney. I came across the said's blog while doing a search for JD/MUP programs on google. I saw that they were planning to move from Utah to Buffalo for the JD/MUP (law and urban planning joint degree), and, after having a bad draw on our first hand of house, we thought we could give them some help finding an apartment. When the place next door opened up we let them know about it because they seem really cool and we thought it would be nice for both of us to have neighbors in the ward. Furthermore, the houses are pretty close together so we also figure that if anyone is going to see us in our skivvies, they might as well know what they are, right?

I digress. Back to the shrink thing

So if you're wondering what on earth I'm talking aboot, I will fill you in. If you're not, I'm filling anyway so you might want to skip down. A few months ago we heard that our friends the Calls (who happen to be super rad) were unfortunately moving from Buffalo. The only silver lining in the entire situation, besides the fact that they were going on to greener pastures to graze on a six digit income, was that their apartment (which happens to be almost as rad as the Calls themselves) was going to be available to rent. Well, to make a long story short, we jumped all over it and now we are living here. We labeled the house "Our Shrink" because we were certain that once we moved in it would solve all of our problems. It has. Does that make us worldly? I will be posting a video tour of our sweet penthouse once we get the pictures hung. They are still collecting dust, so don't hold your breath.

Shout out to the Calls - We owe you BIG TIME!!! Good luck in El Paso. And by the way, thanks for leaving us all of that cool stuff!

We're not going to miss our old shanty, but we will miss our friends:

Perry will especially miss her friends (notice her face). Let me also make mention of the sweetest car I ever saw in the hood parked in the background. What is that line about your wheels being worth more than your car?

And finally, how 'boot a couple pics of Thing 1 and Thing 2 for good measure:

Her busy little fingers kept grabbing the camera string while I was taking her picture.

My babes!

I don't know if the experience lived up to the anticipation.

Blogging Hiatus

2008-06-23T22:27:00.002-04:00

To our faithful readers, we apologize. Most of you who know the Jeff and Abby McIntier family know that we roll to the pace of a slower clock, and it takes us four times the length to complete tasks that you normal people do in a week (and my mom in a day or two). As a witness of this, the pictures that are to be hung on our bare walls have been collecting dust on the ground for nearly three weeks. Oh. If that sentence didn't make sense...we moved!! Hooray! More to come on this later.

With that said, it will probably be a few more days until we get the internet hooked up at the new pad, or as we like to refer to it, "Our shrink." More to come on that later. (Am I hooking you?) Luckily we have found that the local Maytag Laundry has a free wireless internet connection. so here I sit, typing away in the car, as the object of some awkward stares from the employees. Oh, to have no shame!

So here is the brief update:

We LOVE LOVE LOVE our new place!

We are beginning to LOVE Buffalo. I took up the hobby of getting into some of the architectural history here (of which there is a surplus) and have been quite impressed. More to come.

The economists are right; people respond to incentives. After searching high and low and far and wide, we have finally discovered the carrot that errorlessly leads Max to the potty hole! More to come.

I just got the low battery sign, and if I don't post this it won't get done for days (see above). I'm going to have to stop right there. Talk to you soon!

What a great mom

2008-06-03T14:19:00.002-04:00

Sorry Abby, Charlotte and Nicea. I think that you moms are great too, but this post happens to be about another great mom that lives in Buffalo.

So I'm driving down Main Street in Buffalo and I see this gangster looking kid with his cornrows and baggy clothes standing on the side of the road holding a bright neon-orange sign. My first thought was that he was soliciting work or something, so I slowed down to read the sign. We made eye contact and he sheepishly looked away from me, so my eyes drifted down to the sign:

"I WILL NOT STEAL OR LIE TO MY MOM!"

HAHA! What a great mom!!! The best part was that this mom-of-the-year candidate was sitting back behind her son and off to the side, reading a book in a lawn chair! Oh what I would have given for a camera!

On a more serious note, it was reassuring to me to see a mom doing her job as a parent! Abby and I have met a few parents that probably would have stormed into a convenience store and insisted that their kid would never do something like that if they got caught stealing. Then they would follow it up with a rant about how the store set them up because they are out to get teenage kids. Finally, they would top it off with a threat to file a character defamation lawsuit if the accusing employee didn't quit their job and leave the country!

Good work mom! We need more like you!

Criminal Intent

2008-05-30T10:54:00.002-04:00

I flew back to Bub-a-lello (Max's version) on Tuesday afternoon, and, as usual, we were running a little bit behind. I guess some things never change. As we were doing the hustle, trying to get everything in the bag on time, I guess we forgot to remember all of the new rules for flying.

When I got to the airport and walked through the security station I heard the man who gets to look at all of our stuff yell "bag check!" It was mine... :( So I sat there as the man opened my backpack and pulled out my hair gel stuff. It was bigger than three ounces. Crap. Oh well. He threw it away and ran it through the x-ray machine again. No go. I wondered what it was this time. Tooth paste. It was bigger than three ounces. Crap. Oh well. He threw it away and ran it through the x-ray machine again. No go. (Are you having deja-vu?) You've got to be kidding me!

At this point I start to get a little nervous, and it didn't help that the guy running the x-ray machine was eying me down like I was under the direction of Bin Laden! So the guy walks over to me and asks, "Do you have anything sharp in here?" I reply, "Maybe a pen or something." He keeps searching. "No, I'm looking for something else and I can't seem to find it." So I try to be as helpful as I can as to alleviate any suspicion that I am trying to sneak something past him. I grab the strap and say "There's another pocket right here." As I pull the strap around a RAZOR BLADE that I had put in my bag a few days earlier and completely forgotten about flies out of the pocket and lands on the table. CRAP!!!

The next thing that I knew I was standing naked in an interrogation room. Then I snapped out of my worst-case-scenario daydream and the guy said "I doubt you even knew about that! Let me run this bag through one more time and you can get on your way." I guess he could observe the fear in my eye. Luckily it passed, and I got to go on my way, but I couldn't help but wonder if that was a good thing or not? On one hand I was glad that I could go through, but on the other hand I was a little shocked. I mean, I just tried to go through security with a razor blade! Doesn't that at least warrant a few questions?

Anyway, let me just say that I will never pack my bags in a rush again! Lesson learned.

Wednesday--What day?!

2008-05-22T10:49:00.007-04:00

I've always found it odd--not to mention a bit awkward--that the middle day of the week is referred to as Hump Day. As a student I always enjoyed Wednesdays, as it marked the approaching of such days as Friday and Saturday--the very reason the day is referred to as such, and while I am aware that the origin of this description is supposed to have more to do with the growth on a camel's back than other somewhat derogatory connotations, part of me knew there was more to Wednesdays than marking the middle of the work week. Now, thanks modern marvels such as the internet, forwards and You Tube, my hypothesis has been proven correct. God Bless America...and Wednesdays.

Bitter Sweet

2008-05-06T16:55:00.013-04:00

Thing 2 is beginning to learn the concept: just because I can't see it, does not mean it doesn't exist. For Example, she will be sitting on my lap, though unable to see me, and feel the need to crane her neck backwards, make eye contact with me--she will literally stare at me until I look at her--beam, and then turn back around. She will do this over and over and over again just to make sure I haven't disappeared into thin air--because mom's do that, you know. We're good at making things vanish: owies, privileges, Peanut Butter M&M's...mmmmmm.

Anyhoo...

As I was putting her into the high chair for "safe keeping" whilst I ate breakfast, she kept peering up at me--neck craning--with THE MOST displeased expression a baby could ever make.

Didja just eat a lemon, Per? Sheesh.

All the more peculiar, she would only look at me for a moment before she put her head forward, as if merely making sure I was still there, and repeated the process over and over and over again, occasionally flashing a smile. After taking what should be an illelegal amount of pictures of her doing this, I realized, 'this is one of those things I'm gonna wish I had on film.' I reached for my camera:

Oops. I'm not exactly sure what caused the outburst--nor am I sure what my mother is talking about in the background, but I did realize that with my back turned to the vastly bright bay windows, when looking at me, she was also looking into the brilliant rays of sunshine; hence the sour grapes.

Livin' La Vida Loca on Tres de Mayo!!

2008-05-04T14:34:00.006-04:00

In 2007, Cinco de Mayo was celebrated on the first Saturday in May. Apparently our upstairs neighbor is operating on a year-old calendar, because for some reason they had a fiesta (in honor of this great Mexican holiday) last night. Is it just me, or is that a little wierd? I mean if any holiday was meant to be celebrated on the actual day, wouldn't the title "CINCO DE MAYO" tip you off a little bit?

I guess I should have know that these guys were amatures when I heard the constant thud of a techno beat. I mean, come on! If you're going to celebrate Cinco de Mayo on Tres de Mayo, the least you could do is get a mariachi band! And for heaven's sake, even I know that you don't drink the Canadian LaBatt Blue cerveza on the 5th of May! Where were the Cobras! (Shout out to all my East LA homies!)

It was a little frustrating because part of the reason Abby and the kids went to Utah a week before me was so that I could have some peace and quiet to study for finals, and anyone that knows me well knows that I have a hard time studying or falling asleep to loud noise. Well, once I gave up on the studying, and I realized that I was never going to fall asleep with the boom...boom...boom...boom-boom-boom as my background music, I decided to run down to Walgreen's for some "sleep-aid." When I got home I pounded about half a bottle of NyQuil, and the next thing I knew it was morning. Thank you NyQuil. I love you.

I HATE GATEWAY COMPUTERS!!!!!

2008-05-03T14:44:00.001-04:00

That's all. Just had to get that off my chest.

We Made It!

2008-05-01T16:06:00.004-04:00

What does the most outgoing little buddy in all of the world do when he's imprisoned on an airplane with 2 hours remaining until landing?Introduce himself!

Pictured are Thing 1's new friends: cute "Blondie" from the family of 7 all traveling together (that's right, family of 7; for a moment I thought they were our Biggest Family on the Block friends, the Caspers, then I counted the kids and realized there was one boy too many...) and Vanessa, almost 2, traveling with her mother, Andrea going to Grandma and Grandpa while Dad completed his second year med school finals back in DC--one gets the pleasure of sharing stories with others during 2 hour layovers.

Once pure delerium was reached, Blondie and her older sister kept Vanessa entertained across the isle, while Max sat in Vanessa's seat and played with Andrea. Her stickers and crayons and movies were increasingly more enticing than his own stickers...and crayons...and movies. Thank goodness for Andrea. Airplane lavatories are simply too cozy for mom, infant, and toddler.

We are are here, we are settled and up two friends. Would I fly again with my children and no Jeff? Surprisingly, Yes I would.

Golly, What a Day

2008-04-22T21:24:00.044-04:00

Thursday, April 2nd started out as any normal day, that is until Thing 1 didn't ask me to tie his princess skirt with his blankies (affectionately named yellow and blue) the minute we finished breakfast. In fact, he didn't ask me to tie his princess skirt at all that day. Rather, during his morning dose of cartoons, he became rather intrigued with the garb of the Backyardigan Cave People and wanted to spend the morning wearing an animal skin and a bone necklace, just like Uniqua. Perhaps 'twas a subconscious foreshadowing of events to happen later this day.Being the promoter of imagination that I am, I tied yellow as so, and found him an old string of beads to pose as his bone necklace. Feeling ever so manly, Thing 1 showed me his muscles.

Meanwhile, amidst all the cave person hallabuloo, Thing 2 was enjoying tummy time on her play mat...or so I thought..."Tadaah!"

Apparently, Thing 2 wanted to get in on all of the firsting action. She rolled from her tummy to her back! Trying to one-up her big bro, she didn't stop there. Reaching for her dangling toy, she actually grabbed it instead of her delightful little toes by mistake.
Still, the toes remain a very definitive step in the grabbing process, mind you.Once she got the hang of this, though, Thing 2 seemed content to just keep on hangin' on...and on...and on...She'll never let go, Jack. Doesn't she look so pleased with her accomplishment?
We are proud of you too, Princess P.

Later in the day we headed with friends for Things 1 and 2's first trip to the ZOO.

There, we had the ever so important argument on how to pronounce Elephant...(I'm not sure who gave in first, but I'm pretty sure they they agreed to disagree.)

...became entranced by Gorillas......so entranced, in fact, that we could not, for one second, peel our little eyes away from the beasts while banging our own gorilla-like chests for a photo-op.

We also got to sing to Mr. Crocodile...
Can't Catch Me!

Hold hands, and more hands...then fall down...and stay there.

We giggled on a camel saw... monkey bums????

and--Oh Look!A Big Horn!! That's why we come up here.

Thing 2 had a delightful first day at the zoo as well.She was particularly fascinated by the inside of her eyelids.

A day of firsts is definitely what we had, for it was also the first day we met our new landlords at 341 Parkside, as well as the first night Thing 2 decided it was also time to start waking up 3-5 times a night (hence the lag in our blogging). I believe we have since nipped that last first in the bud. For all of our sakes, let's hope.

Marketing 101

2008-04-15T23:27:00.006-04:00

I walk by this house everyday, and apparently they are selling. I guess that since the market is so hot in Buffalo right now you don't need to get much exposure to sell your home. Just throw something together in Print Shop, tape it to the window, and wait next to the phone....hmmmm.

They must not have received many calls cause a few days later I found this...
I'm still trying to figure out what this sign means. Maybe they need a second mortgage or something...I can't seem to think of any other reasons why someone would buy something they already owned.

The worst part is that the sign appears to be professionally made. Oh well. At least it's in a nice area. Here is the neighbor's house:

And across the street:
And a few houses down to the corner:
I'm telling you...we live in the struggle. At least it's adding to our street-cred.

And I forgot to post this after we got back from our nice, warm, spring break trip to Utah.
I was so mad at the snow. I decided to protest by throwing it away! Not very efficient, I know, but at least I got my frustration out. It's just too bad that it melted before the garbage man came!

Katchup

2008-04-15T13:59:00.011-04:00

We couldn't put it off any longer. Elder has officially become a New Yorker. Even though th plate looks much better than the orange Utah plate, I feel like such a sellout! Sorry, Elder.

Here are a couple pics of thing 2. She has decided that she no longer likes to sleep through the night (I knew it was too good to be true) and has been keeping us up a lot lately. This is partly to blame for the lack of posting. She is still such a sweetie though. Even though she is so extremely tired she smiles every time we make eye contact with her. She is a happy baby. I use to tell people that I didn't know if I'd ever be able to love another child as much as I loved Max, but thankfully there is an answer for that! The sweet child you fall in love with becomes a crazy person at precisely the same time you have another sweet child. I remember being so anxious for Max to grow up and do something besides nothing! That's probably why it took him a little longer than normal to start walking! This time around I am enjoying the immobile stage much much more. And for just that reason, Thing 2 will probably start walking next month!

Here are a few pics of Thing 1. The weather has been pretty nice, so it's been great to come out of our cave and see the sun!

We watched the movie August Rush the other night and thought it was great. It is so nice to watch movies that make you feel good when you're done watching them rather than "It was good, BUT." I thought the music was really interesting and the story was pretty decent too. I must admit that I am easily amused, but I guess if I were a harsh critic I'd say the story line seemed long in some places and extremely rushed and underdeveloped in other places. But it still had me involved, entertained and feeling good through most of the show. Look to the bottom of our playlist for August's Rhapsody and it will give you a sample of some of the great music in the show. If anyone knows of any other good movies like this, please recommend.

Oh, and 1 more thing. Abby is going to kill me for posting this, but if anyone is wondering where Max got his lazy eye...It wasn't me!

Let's Go Buffalo!!!

2008-04-15T09:41:00.002-04:00

A little while back I posted this article written by Edward Glaeser who is an urban economist at Harvard. I guess a lot of people around here were a little upset with what he wrote, so he is coming to Buffalo this Friday from 2:00 until (I think) 4:00 to have a forum. I believe that he will be speaking about resurrecting Buffalo and will then have a Q&A that should be pretty good. I'm excited about this, but I realize that it doesn't have anything too do with teeth so many of my fellow soldiers might not want to go. However, if any of you would like to venture into the world of economics I would love to have some company. It costs 10 bucks (for students--30 otherwise) and I think that includes food. It should be pretty good. So if anyone wants to go, give me a call.

She Makes The Rockin World Go Round!

2008-04-15T00:41:00.002-04:00

Perry's results from the official weigh in:

75th percentile in weight

75th percentile in head

and......................................

10th percentile in height!!!
She's officially a "Fat Bottomed Girl!"

Sorry that we've been slacking. More to come tomorrow...with pictures!

Might as Well Be a Four Letter Word

2008-04-01T20:43:00.007-04:00

This evening as I was getting Max's shoes on to go spend our tax return (ya baby!) on a much needed double stroller, he asked me why we needed to get shoes on when we went bye bye. I told him that we put shoes on so we can protect our feet from germs and things that might hurt them (glass, nails, etc) that are laying on the ground. He thought about that answer and then said, "Why? Why do we need to protect them from that stuff?" I told him that germs and cuts on our feet can make us very very sick and that's not good. He paused to think about this answer and then said,"Why?" My heart sank. OH NO, I thought, What if we've entered the never-ending "why" questions nonsense? What will I do? I don't remember exactly what I said, but apparently I sufficed his curiosity because that was the end of that conversation.
We went about the rest of the night without another "why question" cycle and I was beginning to think I was in the clear. Oh, but no...
As I put Max down for bed he asked me if he could have quiet shoes in bed with him to sleep (Quiet shoes are my shoes that he is allowed to wear because they don't make too much noise on our wood floors). I told him no. He asked me why. I told him that shoes aren't for bedtime. He asked me why. I told him because they have germies on the bottoms of them. He asked me why. I tensed a little and then said,"Because we walk around outside and on dirty floors with our shoes on and that's where the germies come from." He asked me why, but it was more like, "But whhhyyyy?"

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

After several more back and fourths, I defused the conversation. "I don't know, honey, you'll have to ask Heavenly Father because He knows everything."
"Oh," He said.
It worked! Yay!
"And Jesus?" he continued.
"Yup. And Jesus. Goodnight buddy."
"Goodnight Mommy," as I shut the door.

The Man Upstairs must be urging more patience upon me...or Max just really really wants to know about germies. If that is the case he is going to have to ask Gramma Mesha as she is the one who made up such words as coldy, all-gonny, and germies. It just leaves me asking with pleading eyes heavenward, "WHY?"

Take that Jenny

2008-03-29T15:02:00.000-04:00

46 words

Speedtest

3 Times in 1 Day

2008-03-26T00:07:00.005-04:00

Whew. I'm Beat! Just letting you all know that I posted three times tonight...four if you count this one. I had a lot on my mind, I guess.

ENJOY!!!

P.S. This is why I don't let Jeff post pictures of me online. They all look like this...or worse. (And yes. I edited the picture. It was a little too large and scary for me to keep looking at.)

R S T L N E

2008-03-25T21:53:00.004-04:00

Yes. Eye am aware of my spellen error. En fact, der well be alot of dem tru-out des post. Allow me to explane. Several weeks ako a water bottle spelled--or leaked--en my purse. Amonk da waterlokked casualtees was my cell pone. Sence den, Eye av not been able to use my four key. Et semply well not work. Wat exactly does des mean, you ask? Well, my dear frends, et means any text messaje you receeve from me well read lyke des post as da four key olds da place of da 3 letters of da alpabet dat come after da letter F. Et also means dat ef your pone number as a four en et, Eye cannot call you unless you were prokrammed en my pone pryor to des unfortunate event. Woo knew dat dose 3 letters were used so often! Not me, but eye mess dem...very muc.

What's In a Name?

2008-03-25T21:18:00.004-04:00

Every time I come across someone at the grocery store, or the doctor's office, or anywhere in public for that matter, the passer or passersby inevitably notice my darling little girl--sometimes they think she's a boy, but that is an entirely different issue--and they comment with delightful little baby talk at her. Perry, if she is awake, makes eye contact with them and coos in return, thus prompting further conversation. I slightly dread this for one reason and one reason only. These so-called friendly strangers always want to know her name. When the cursed question arises, I answer them the two or three times it takes them to hear and/or understand that her name is indeed Perry--not Carry, or Mary, or Terry. Then I watch their faces change from an admirational grin to pure confusion as they ask, "How do you spell that?" I tell them. Unamused, they reply with something like, "That's interesting," or, "Oh," or my personal favorite,"Hmmm..." The conversation awkwardly ends there and we continue on our separate ways dissatisfied with the encounter all together. It's starting to make me itch...

After several complaints of these incidents, Jeff decided to see what the public blogger world thought, just for kicks. We are pretty sure that the majority of the votes for Perry came from our families. As for actually changing her name? No decisions have been made as of yet. Thanks for your participation and we will let you know if anything changes!

Some Bunny Loves Me

2008-03-25T19:11:00.001-04:00

In all of our lives we have incidents when we just cannot comprehend the rationality of such things. These things can be peoples' actions, new ideas, or even outrageous fads. We think,"Is that for real?" or "Did that really just happen?" These things become a part of our reality as we incorporate them into our lives (be it by acceptance or mere tolerance) then, over time, they become a part of our past--like the afro--only to be regurgitated periodically throughout time.

Every night Clementine sleeps in our bed. Similarly, every night I wake up to feed Perry. Most often I am not out of bed for longer than 30 minutes. Sometimes I can even be back into my room with in 20 minutes. Eager to return to slumber, I shuffle back to my room only to find that dang dog elongated on MY SIDE OF THE BED! As I try to shove her over 50 lbs of dead weight over just enough for me to fit on the queen size matress, she GROWLS at me as if I were some mistress crawling in the sheets for her husband! Hello? What, or should I say Who, does she think she is? Has she EARNED a place on my mattress by simply being a lazy, hairy, druely canine? We go through this same routine every time I get up from our used-to-be-a-pretty-wheat-colored chair in our family room. Clementine hops on the second I hop off. To further my bewilderment, If I am sitting on the chair and our bedroom door happens to be closed, Clem will putter around the house groaning and barking at both me and Jeff because she has no place to lay. I think, Lay on the blasted floor! You're a dog for crying out loud!

As we all know fashions come and go. Some are extreme and some are mild. Some we love and some we don't. Some make us shudder at the thought while others make us shudder as we try to wear them. I feel this way about one such baby fashion. Now, I don't quite shudder at this, but I certainly do scratch my head. Mostly because I so desperately want the giant flower bow to be cute on Perry, but I am not quite understanding the concept. Is it supposed to be larger than the babies' head on purpose? I think the idea is that our bundles of joy will look like living Anne Geddes-esque photos. Now, don't get me wrong, I have seen these on many other babies and I think it is darling....I'm just not fashion forward enough to make it work. Sorry Perry.

Max and Clem have a sort of love/hate relationship. In the past, it's been very loving. However, in the present, it is mostly based on mutual intolerance. Max squawks if our puppy is to so much as sniff in his direction when he has food in his hands. Likewise, Clem feels the same when our boy tries to play with her. Anywhoo, this is one of my favorite scenes at our house. Poor Max, defenseless against Clem's unforgiving jaws.

give me five......well, maybe

2008-03-20T11:05:00.006-04:00

Since I've been catching so many colds lately I've been paying extra attention to things that could be causing this annoying problem. I'm sorry if this makes you sick (pun intended) but nearly 50% of the guys at my school seem to think that handwashing after using the potty is optional. I really can't stand it anymore. I want to follow these people of the restroom and yell "Don't touch this guy! He didn't wash his hands!" Maybe I'm wrong, but I have to think that this sickness is contributing to my sicknesses!

Isn't there a law that requires certain employees to wash their hands while they are working? If so, shouldn't there be a law that required ALL people in public places to wash their hands?!? I'm usually against excessive government regulation, but in this case the non-washers are hurting others, not just themselves. I would love it if there was some way to tell whether or not a person washed their hands when they exited a public bathroom, and if they didn't a loud siren and flashing light would go off or something.

Sorry for the rant. Does anyone know any good, long-lasting hand sanitizer for me? Or how about some supplements to boost my immune system. Maybe I should just wear rubber gloves around all day at school. Hey, that's a good idea!

RE: Privatization

2008-03-17T20:41:00.002-04:00

Abby told me that my last post sounded mean. I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to be mean, I was really wondering if having a public blog was leaving us open to some weird thing that I didn't know about. So if any of you took offense, I beg your pardon.

Oi Vey!

2008-03-17T16:34:00.013-04:00

I've heard and agreed with the saying, If Mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy...until I my son turned 2. Whoever coined this delightful little phrase must not have had a toddler. Or, perhaps, failed to recognize the reason Mama ain't happy is probably because her toddler REFUSED to smile for a flippen' St. Patrick's Day Picture in his couldn't-be-more-perfect-for-the-occasion Mr. Froggy towel! The saying should read: If the toddler ain't happy, you better BELIEVE nobody else is!

Oh well. He still makes a pretty cute naked leprechaun, even when he's throwing an unbelievable tantrum, don't ya think? We'll go to bed tonight and wake up for a better day tomorrow...we hope!

Happy St. Patty's!

Privitizing the blogosphere...

2008-03-17T09:38:00.002-04:00

I've noticed that a lot of you bloggers have been going private. Can someone please tell me what, exactly, can a creepy person take from your blog? I'm not being cynical here, I really want to know. I like the idea of our blog being public because we have found and been found by several people that we normally wouldn't have ever talked to again, and it's been quite pleasant. I don't want to have to buy lifelock or anything, but I figure as long as we're not posting our SSN, address, or other personal stuff we'd be OK. Am I wrong?

Baby Blessing

2008-03-14T14:12:00.004-04:00

Here are a couple of pictures from Perry's baby blessing. They were taken by Pete Stott (thanks!) and he is a great photographer. I would recommend him to anyone who is getting married or wants some nice family pictures! You can check out his work here and here.

Even though Max was extremely tired and dirty, I really like how this shot turned out.

The Economics of Heaven

2008-03-13T19:34:00.007-04:00

My last comment about Max and the ducks along with some recent conversations with friends about what type of economic system we will live by in the millennium has got me thinking. The scriptures teach several things about heaven and children. One verse tells us that of such is the kingdom of heaven, and another tells us that we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven unless we become as a little child.

Here's the thing. Have you ever watched little kids play together with toys? Most kids that I have seen are protective of their property, take toys from the weaker children, and have a hard time sharing with others unless they are compelled by their parents. This leads to the stronger and smarter kids (or you could even say those kids who work harder) ending up with a larger share of the resources. This makes me think that heaven will be a system of competitive capitalism.

Here's the other thing. Like I said in my previous post, Max was so equitable with his food while he was feeding the ducks. He freely gave his popcorn away and tried his very hardest to ensure that all of the ducks got something to eat. In other words, he controlled the resources and distributed them fairly to everyone. This leads me to believe that heaven will be more in line with communism.

So, of which child is the Kingdom of Heaven? I'm interested to hear your thoughts.
Sorry for the post Ab. I think I'll start my own blog.

READY FOR A VACATION! (warning-this is a long journal post)

2008-03-13T11:49:00.002-04:00

Well, we got back from our Utah trip last night, and now I am ready for a break! We had a WONDERFUL time out West, but I'm glad to be able to be home to relax for a few days before school starts up again.

We're currently trying to get caught up on all of our DVR'd entertainment (basically just American Idol and OTH--ya, 24 is missing from that list! Does anyone know when the heck it is going to start!!!) and I'm watching the first episode of the AI top 12. What a new set! I'm glad that the show is finally starting. I seriously get sick of all of the tryouts and the first 12 eliminations!! Yet, although it's not a religiously as the top12, I still watch them-go figure. Hopefully this year will be better than last year, and it already looks like it very easily could be.

OK, so what's with all the jawing between Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell?? It seems like it gets worse every season. Is this a real feud, or has it just become such an integral part of the show that the producers force them to play it up?

OK now for the trip (and my AI thoughts in **)-

It was a blast! It was so good to see all of our friends and family! We started off the first 3 days at my parents house in Salem and then spent the final 3 days in Orem. It was fun to spend some time in Salem. Max loves going to the Salem Pond to cruise around the park and feed the ducks. I'm amazed at how equitable he is with the popcorn he feeds them. His mission is to make sure that they all get some and that the geese-bullies don't take too much from the little duckies. Wow! There are a lot of parallels in there that I won't bore you with, but I'm sure you saw them anyway. Let me just say that you should be proud, Fred!

**OK Chikezie Eze just went crazy on the stage, and I really liked it! I was just telling Abby last week that there was nothing special about him-same ol same ol, but like Randy said he "Smashed it!!" this week. Amazing!**

On Friday I got to watch the Jazz game (what a game, what a game!!!) and had my first experience with Halo 3 and X box live, to the tune of seven hours (four of them being past midnight). While it was fun and entertaining, I have to admit, much to the dismay of several of you who might be reading this, that I won't be making the purchase. I would have a hard time graduating if I owned one of those things!

Saturday we started the day with flag football (running on a few hours of sleep and a whole lot of Amp--see above) which was a lot of fun even though I still run like a giraffe and then Abby and I went to dinner with my sister and her husband (Jenny and Greg) and my other sister and her boyfriend (Melinda and Travis). It was nice to meet Travis and spend some time with my siblings. Thanks to Mel and Travis for dinner, and thanks to Jenny and Greg for gracing us with your presence. Oh, and the appetizers. And the ride. Next time I want to go on the Harley. After dinner we got to spend some time with our friends at the McDonald's house. It was REALLY REALLY good to see everyone, and really really weird to see officer Moutsos in his very own cop car and uniform. Thanks for hosting the party Rum and AM, and thanks to everyone who came (Kole & Jessica, Eric & Stacey, Lyndsay & Garrett, Eric & Kati and all the kids).

Sunday we had family over at Abby's house for Perry's baby blessing. It was a really nice experience. She is such a sweet baby! I have to tell you, it was the fourth baby blessing I've performed, and I STILL get nervous!! I don't get nervous for many things, but there's something about blessing a baby that really gets me! Despite my nervousness, we gave her a beautiful blessing and it was a special experience for me. Thanks to our moms for helping to make it such a nice day and thanks to our family who came to share the experience with us.

**OK, we just heard Brooke Davis and that performance was AWESOME! Both Abby and I got the chills. She's good! She's really good!**

On Monday Abby spent some time with her friends from high school, and my dad and I went to St. George to replace a garbage disposal in our townhouse (yes, the townhouse that was supposed to be sold!! If you're wondering, it's a long story, but let's just say that we'll have renters there for the next year). It was refreshing to see the house in such good condition since it's been nearly ten months since I've been there. In fact, it may have looked even better than when we lived there!! I forgot how nice we had it when we lived there: no snow, a garbage disposal, sinks deeper than six inches, a dishwasher, a master bedroom bigger than 10ft x 10ft, and more than one bathroom! The good thing is that living in our current house will help us appreciate our next one so much more!

Well this is getting pretty long, so I'll end it there. Again, thanks to everyone who helped to make our trip an enjoyable one. Hopefully we'll be back soon! I'll post the pictures from the trip as soon as we upload them from the camera.

**OK last thought. Did they just show a clip of David Archuleta's dad playing the trumpet in his G's?!?! Unbelievable! I like this guy, but I really don't think I could sit down and listen to an entire album of his.**

We are now free to move about the country!

2008-03-07T09:31:00.003-05:00

It seems that, as of late, many people have been leaving the airports a little on the ornery side-- especially if they have a connection through Chicago! I must say, despite the craziness of an over-tired two year old who can't sleep anywhere but a bed, we had a very pleasant trip from Buffalo to Salt Lake yesterday.

We go to the airport early (thank you Ryan Nielsen!!!!) and I have never seen the place as busy as it was. It literally looked like every single sports team, male and female, from the University was leaving for an away contest. That, combined with an influx of regular travelers, made the security line hundreds of people long. I haven't seen that many backed up travelers since driving on the 5 freeway in Los Angeles!! Anyway, after standing in line for a few minutes, and at this point I'm starting to think that despite our early arrival we aren't going to make our flight, a wonderful lady comes up to us and says "Since you have a stroller you qualify for 'special needs' security. Follow me!" YES!!! I LOVE STROLLERS!! So we skipped EVERYONE and happily made our way to the front of our special line.

Shortly after we got on our airplane a worried flight attendant came on the speaker and admitted that they had overbooked the flight (our first flight was to Chicago) and asked if anyone would be willing to take a later flight to Chicago, and the airline would compensate them with a $200 travel voucher plus the price of their ticket from Buffalo to Chicago. She said that anyone who would be willing to be bumped would be guaranteed to arrive in Chicago by tomorrow (Friday). She also mentioned that they needed three seats-the exact number of seats we had. I told Abby that I was down, and asked what she wanted to do. Ingeniously, Abby raised her hand and said "We'll do it if you can get us to Salt Lake." They told us they could, so we got off the plane, although it was much to Max's dismay: "I don't wanna leave!!! I wanna go to YOU-TA!!"

Well, to make a long story short, we took a plane to Baltimore, and then hopped on the flight from there to Salt Lake, and actually ended up making it to Salt Lake 30 minutes before our original flight! The ironic part about this story is that when my mom was booking our tickets she was trying to find us tickets through Baltimore (because it was faster) but they were unjustifiably more expensive!! The only downside of this story? Our stroller and car seat didn't get transferred, so they are going to ship them to us. Luckily we are visiting grandma, and grandma is always prepared! What did we get for all of our troubles? $1,000 dollars in travel vouchers good for one year! Wow, thanks! You got us on a faster flight and paid us for it!

So now I have a new goal. It seems like every time we fly southwest they run into the problem of overbooking, and offer the vouchers. My goal is to see how long we can travel on the airline's dime by taking the bump every time they offer it. I'm hoping for a streak of at least five! So maybe my title should have been, "We are now free to bump about the country!"

For The Maxfields

2008-03-05T17:28:00.005-05:00

Do you need some help picking a dog? How about a Basset Hound?

We're cute!

We have long ears!
They provide excellent sun-shades!
We like to stare at you and wonder what you are doing!
We love to play with kids!
We love kisses!
We love to go on walks!
And we love to run and play!

We like to babysit! But most of all, we just like sleep

Lotsa Pictures

2008-03-01T12:32:00.011-05:00

This is the look we usually see on Clem's face. She's probably thinking, "What are these idiots going to do today?!?"

The other day my wife made me walk home from school while it was freezing. It was really interesting weather. The entire city was covered in a thin layer of ice. I seriously almost ate it eight times in the short 1/2 mile walk. Anyway, when I got home I had that same thin layer of ice all over my coat. The picture doesn't do it justice. I have really never seen anything like it. I
During the Super Bowl, Max got so excited when the Giants sacked Tom Brady that he started jumping up and down on the couch. Unfortunately, his balance isn't as good as he thinks it is and he ended up reenacting the sack with Max as Tom Brady and coffee table as Michael Strahan. I needed to stay home and watch the Super Bowl...wait, I mean Perry, so Abby made up for making me walk home in the freezing ice by taking Max to the hospital. Had we known it was going to take FIVE FLIPPING HOURS to get his cut Super glued we might have just done it ourselves! More on this story to come later from Abby.
They put him in this great straight jacket so he wouldn't touch his face while they were gluing. I think I've got a new product idea! "Having a hard time getting things done at the house because of your two year old? Try our new product and you'll be able to work for hours at a time!"
I just asked Max who was in this picture and he said "That's max wrapped up like a taco!" HAHA!! He's so funny!
Max and Clem...Clem seems to look a bit more suspicious than loving. She's probably thinking, "OK, what are you going to do to me next?"
Perry loungin' around in her robe. Ah...the good life!
Happy baby.
Broody baby.
Max making Perry laugh.

The O.G. Nice hat son. You'll get a lot of ladies with that one. Max's favorite team is the Chargers (I had nothing to do with it, he picked them all on his own...I guess he knows talent when he sees it!). This is my very first Chargers hat from the early 90's.
This is our friend, Abdul. He came here from Ghana to go to school.
This is the self-proclaimed "Bob" (his real name is Weibo Si). He came from China to go to school. Sometimes when I start to think that Utah is far away and it's hard being away from my friends and family, I just think about these guys.

Max's silly face. It looks kinda scary to me!

My Professors kept forgetting my name, so I thought it was time to do something to stand out a little more. Do you like it?

I wear the mohawk pretty well, don't you think? :)

Que tenga buen dia.

It may seem, form the lack of Abby pictures, that we don't like our mommy around here. The fact is that she just won't ever let us take pictures of her.

We are having...

2008-02-29T16:45:00.002-05:00

way too much fun with the facial recognition software!
Thanks Kevin and Danica for the idea.

I'm glad that Abby looks like a 14 year old girl (Dakota Fanning) and I look like a 61 year old man (Tommy Lee Jones)! Oh well. At least I didn't get any girls on mine!! Sorry Kevin! I always thought you were kind of pretty though!

Abby's celebrity look-a-likes

2008-02-29T16:43:00.000-05:00

Jeff's celebrity look-a-likes

2008-02-29T16:36:00.000-05:00

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

I've been Tagged

2008-02-23T12:58:00.007-05:00

Weeks ago I was tagged by my beloved twin Kristie. I am just now getting to it. Here are 6 things that people don't know about me. However, I talk so much that I'm pretty sure that there are not that many things that people don't know about me, but I'll give it a shot. Hope you enjoy.

1. My pet peeves are when I get passed on the right in a non-existent lane when I am already going about 7-10 mph over the speed limit (this has only happened to me in Buffalo); when the dishes have piled up and Jeff doesn't have a cereal bowl to eat his breakfast in, so rather than washing one and being a part of the solution, he grabs a mixing bowl and a serving spoon to eat his cereal in...then leaves the bowl on the mountain of dishes for me to wash; and last, but most certainly not least, when I go outside after precipitation has occured (pick your poison: rain, sleet , snow, "wintry" mix, etc) and the bottom of my jeans get wet. I then go inside only to take my shoes off and get my socks wet from my jeans! I change into dry-bottomed pants and let the others dry only to find that they have dried with a delightful little salt ring where the water used to be. I now have to wash two pairs of pants. Arghh.

2. My favorite show is One Tree Hill. You can laugh and gawk all you want, because I am not ashamed. Jeff also enjoys it...he may be ashamed. If I were Lucas, I would choose B. Davis to P. Sawyer. No questions asked. Those of you who don't OTH-it, I apologize. Though, I know there are many of you closet CW T.V. show fans and you know what I am referring to. This is a common debate between Jeff and I. I would also love to see all you Ravens fans come out of the wood work and help me out here.

3. I love to decorate and am fascinated by old houses and architecture. It may not be evident in my humble abode given our current economic status, but I truly do love to decorate. I am just as likely, if not more, to pick a home and garden magazine to read over an "Us Weekly" or magazine of that nature. I find it incredibly enticing and while I don't know if I am any good, I really enjoy learning about it.

4. I am deathly afraid of praying in public. This is crazy, but I would rather speak in church than pray. At least when I speak I can prepare what I am going to say! I usually have to pray before my prayer about what i should pray about and that I won't say something stupid. I must give an example. When I was in YW, I was asked to give the closing prayer to a stake youth fireside. In that prayer I was told to make sure to bless the refreshments. At the close of the fireside, palms sweating, mouth dry, mouth dry, I stepped up to the pulpit. The prayer started out well, but upon saying,"Please bless the refreshments that they wi--" I can't bless that they will nourish our bodies, or give us nutrients that we need! They are refreshments. They don't have nutritional value! I finished the sentence with,"that they will taste good." Immediately the congregation fizzled with muffled chuckles. I started blushing and quickly ended the prayer. I was mortified, but able to laugh it off by explaining my train of thought to people when they commented on my prayer. I have since learned that when blessing refreshments during a prayer to say,"Please bless the refreshments," and then just STOP TALKING.

5. I'm pregnant.

6. Just kidding. I'm really really not. But I gotcha didn't I?

Hope you enjoyed!

P.S. I tag Jeff (actually Jeff tagged himself), Krista, Lauren, Stacey M, Laura, Alesha, and...Kashann who I know said would not do it if she was tagged, but I know all of my fellow Buffalonians would die to hear 6 things from your life that we didn't already know. Kashann, I won't be offended you really don't want to do it, but I thought you were worth a shot! Love ya!

A great article...and some fun

2008-02-23T12:20:00.004-05:00

I've told a few of you about this article, and now I'm finally posting it. It was published in the City Journal, and written by Edward Glaeser, a Harvard economist. (Wow. That ought to be enough links to keep you busy for a while!). His analysis definitely slants to the right, but it is, nonetheless, a very well written article describing the rise and fall of Buffalo. The problems he discusses are not only unique to Buffalo, but many of the old cities built around the "rust belt." Buffalo, I think, just happens to be an extreme case. If anyone reads it, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts. Is he right?

And for those of you not interested in the article, here are some pictures. One is Max and one is Perry. Do you think they look alike? I tried to put them in black and white and have you guess who was who, but I couldn't figure out how to do it. If they weren't in blue and pink, could you tell the difference?

Forget Prozac...Become a Republican!!

2008-02-23T12:07:00.005-05:00

I read this on Greg Mankiw's blog. It was originally from washingtonpost.com :

A 2006 Pew Research poll found that 45 percent of Republicans describe themselves as "very happy," compared with only 30 percent of Democrats (and 29 percent of independents). This is a sizable gap and a remarkably consistent one, too. Republicans have been happier than Democrats every year since the General Social Survey, conducted biannually by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago, began asking about happiness in 1972.

You know, now that I think about it, I have seemed a bit more depressed since I registered as an independent!

McIntier Look-alike Meter

2008-02-15T11:18:00.001-05:00

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities - Collage - Morph

McIntier Look-alike Meter

2008-02-15T11:11:00.001-05:00

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Family photos - Roots

McIntier Look-alike Meter

2008-02-15T11:07:00.001-05:00

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Genealogy message boards - Draw family tree