In Jeff's Defense

I tease Jeff all the time about using our blog as his personal editorial column, but I actually have to support him on this random rant. Let me begin by telling you a story: One bitterly cold Saturday morning (weeks before Jeff ever heard of the song in question), I reluctantly had to take the journey to the grocery store. Over a 15 minute drive later, I arrived at the closest decent grocery store to our house in Buffalo--decent meaning I don't feel like I have to sterilize everything I buy there. Upon pulling into the parking stall the Canadian radio DJ announces to me that Ms. Sparks's new single is up next. "Oh Goody," I thought, the gloomy cloud over my head lifting (I really hate grocery shopping), "A new song to break up the monotany (sp?) of the radio." Not wanting to exit my vehicle just yet, as the heater had finally warmed it up just in time for me to exit, I procrastinated the task at hand (did I mention I hate grocery shopping?) and let my ears try out the latest Idol's first "hit", a term I now believe is used a bit too liberally. Now, I have to admit that at first listen, the sound of "Tattoo" intrigued me. I enjoyed the beat, although typical, the heartfelt first verse, vocals were great, and I even liked the chorus--that is, until I heard, "You're on my heart just like a tattoo. Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you," then I cringed. Honestly! Who comes up with these lyrics??? Just like a tattoo? Was there nothing else that is semi permanent (that's right, tattoos can be removed now, making the line even sillier) to conclude that simile when writing this song?? I thought lyrical rock bottom had been hit when I heard Fergie's, "I miss you like a baby misses his blanket," which was even worse than her slew of spelling bee songs. Thank goodness she proved her point--she can spell, even if it is only made up words.

Of course, we mustn't blame Jordin. After all, she's only the voice and prop. She doesn't write, play, or probably have any say whatsoever over her career right now (A major reason why Idol winners almost never make it big.) She probably was given a handful of songs with equally lame lyrics to choose from for her first single and, giving her a huge benefit of the doubt, chose the lesser of all evils. Needless, to say my trip to the grocery store had no silver lining. Maybe I'll go get a tattoo, so I'll always have this experience with me.