Saturday, December 13, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Thing 2 had a birthday. Yup. She did. She is 1 years old. All morning long Thing Uno and I sang Happy Birthday to her. Of course, 1 sang the lesser known part of, NO! It's not her birfday party! We only sing Happy Birfday at birfday parties! By 10 a.m., however, Thing 2 grew weary of Happy Birthday. She stopped clapping after each rendition, which is a pretty big deal considering she just learned how and never ceases to do so. Apparently, she'd had all the Happy Birthday she could handle. Fortunately for her, my Better Half and I are carrying on the traditions of my father--er mother, rather--and did not have any festivities planned for today (as in the actual day of her birthday) other than the spontaneity of song-bursting. What? He's got tests and I've got 5 a.m. Weekends are much better for us. Though, I didn't have to teach seminary that morning and should have had a tad more energy--should being the operative word--and would have, had any of my (two) students let me know they were honoring Thing 2's b-day by sleeping in--a.k.a. NOT SHOWING. 6 a.m. no shows make for an angry anybody, let alone a mom with two Things. I pray every night that my Things will simply skip over ages 13-17 and grow into attractive, wise young adults. I am pretty sure with all the teenage angst--including my own hole-in-the-wall-kicking years--I've experienced in my wee little lifetime The Man will grant me this wish. Yup. Pretty sure.
Digressions aside, Thing 2, here are some of the reasons we adore you. I will refrain from listing the things that we...uh...don't adore in the very small instance that you do not skip your teenage years. That way when you read this, you can't blame your horrible, no good, very bad LIFE on me and the things I said when you were 1. Ha.
We adore you because:
- you might love playing peek-a-boo more than you love us. I have a video, but my Better Half has not given clearence as to its post-age yet--just FYI.
- you just got your first teeth, just shy of a year, and you've figured out how to use one of them to bite with.
- you still look like you did at 9 months old, thus, keeping you little, and me with out hunger for another.
- you give loves--performed by placing one's head onto anothers' shoulder--to any and everything, dirty old rugs included, especially when you're tired.
- you let us hold you once in a while.
- you have the baldest head this side a'the Mis'sippi.
- you love your blanket with all your might, mind and strength. We can tell this by the technique in which you tackle it upon sight.
- anytime we sing to you, you join in with your own melody, duh-duh, da, duh-duh... Sometimes you even lead.
- you giggle kick every time we come to retrieve you from your crib.
- you are precious, adorable, and full of life.
- you are you.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
In other news: I've cut my hairs.** Perry, after a long awaited 11 months, has cut her first tooth--er teeth, she now has 4 and is working on numbers 5 and 6. We expect their arrival any day now. I've turned one year older (and wiser too). Jeff and I finally buckled under the pressure, signed a two year agreement with T-mobile, giving us new--and free, I might add--telecommunicaters, thus making us the proud owners of two fully functional (as in no duct tape, cracked screens, or water damage) cell phones: One pink, one blue. Yay for us. And Max still can't say Niagara Falls correctly.
*I ain't fishin' nor complainin'. I'm just sayin'. Been busy lately.
**I do have more than one, you know.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
"Now, we aren’t advocating the good folks in Nevada – the only folks that gamble on college football, of course – might consider these past results a predictor of future ones. If you’re crazy enough to wager on the performances on college kids, that’s your issue.
Fortunately in the other 49 states the government prohibits people putting money into a system with wild fluctuations, unpredictable results and the very real possibility that underhandedness and dishonesty have fixed the outcome.
Politicians know the stock market is a much safer and honest place for retirement funds."
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
"Hey can someone get this down for me!?!"
5 seconds pass
"Hey!! Mom!! Can you get this down for me?"
4 seconds pass
"ANYONE!! CAN ANYONE GET THIS DOWN!?!"
2 seconds pass
"HEY, ONE OF MAX'S PARENTS!! GET HIS DOWN FOR ME!! ONE OF MAX'S PAAAAAAA-RENTS"
a few more seconds
Abby: "What do you need?"
Max: "I need this thing down."
Abby: "No sweetie, we're not going to do that today."
5 seconds pass
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
As many of you were unable to attend the results show for this season's contest , and feeling excruciating sorrow that all of your invites uncannily seemed to have been "lost" in the mail, being the gracious blog-hostess with the mostest that I am, I risked life, limb, but most importantly career, snagging the script for you. I know what you're thinking, it musn't have been easy prying that puppy from ol' J.B.'s fingers. Well, I'll tell you what. It wasn't. However, I found it necessary for me to make such a sacrifice for you, my faithful readers. Now you can read the show and it will feel as if you were sitting right there in the soft seats. You're Welcome.
[Que music/lights. Enter Abby Jane stage left waving to audience. Que CHEERING/ APPLAUSE] Welcome! Welcome! Good to see you! Thank you! Thank you! You guys are too kind. Really. No. Really. STOP. Just Kidding. [Que CHUCKLE.
usic fades] Okay, seriously, though. Welcome to this season's results show for My Dears in the Headlights: A quiz of Toddler Verbage! [Que CHEERING/APPLAUSE] A very tough race this season. Yup, yup. A valiant effort by all, I must say. I, myself, was very pleased with the contestants--and thier answers! [Que SOFT CHUCKLE] Yup. Everyone gave it thier best shot. Though, for most that still wasn't good enough, but hey! There can only be one winner, right? [Que CHUCKLE] At any, rate, let's hear it for the contestants! [Que CHEERING/APPLAUSE] Yup, that's right you guys were amazing. Take a moment and give yourselves a pat on the back--okay, that's good enough! [Que CHUCKLE] No, seriously, though. Let's get down to business. [Que dramatic music/lights] The moment we've been waiting ALL season for...the winner of this season's My Dears in the Headlights: A quiz of Toddler Verbage is...
...Coming up right after this break. [Que DISAPPOINTED AWWHHH]
[Que music/lights. Que CHEERING/APPLAUSE] Welcome back! I know, I know. That was pretty cruel, huh? [Que soft CHUCKLE] Hey! Don't blame me. I don't write it, I just read it! [Que CHUCKLE] But, seriosly. Let's get back to it. The winner--that would be that person with THE MOST correct answers--of this season's My Dears in the Headlights: A Quiz of Toddler Verbage is...
...Malin-Da Szarek! [Que fantabulous music/lights/confetti/balloons/sparking cider/Cirque du Soleil/The Muppets/Brad Pitt. Que CHEERING/APPLAUSE]
Since Ms. Szarek was unable to be here tonight I will graciously and honorably accept this award in her behalf. And Melinda? If you are watching right now, don't forget to claim your prize by picking my very next post*! [Que OOOOOH/APPLAUSE]
Thanks for coming folks! And remember, friends don't let friends drive drunk. See you next season on My Dears in the Headlights: A Quis of Toddler Verbage! [Abby Jane dances with Brad Pitt. Fade all. Cut to credits]
So? Whad'ya think? Too bad you missed the live version. If you can believe it, it was even better than what you just experienced. Oh well. Maybe next season, eh?
Before I leave you, however, I want to pay tribute to a few honorable mentions that didn't get any coverage during the show--don't know why. You'll have to take that up with J-dog. An Honorable Mention is awarded to Annie for The Most Guesses for #2 (none of which were correct, by the way), my personal favorite being hors d'oeuvres --because yes, he is that sophisticated and we regularly speak french with him--how did you know? Another H.M. goes to Gina Bina for Most Correct Answers Having Never Met--or Spoken--to the Verbage Creator (Max) and to Erica for Best Use of Knowledge and Deductive Reasoning to Come up with any Answer--many of which were correct. Now. Last, but not most certainly not least, an Honorable Mention is awarded to Kristie for Most Creative Answers All Around. You really made me chuckle little woman. To view all answers, both correct and benine (my better half answered them all for us), simply click here. Just for kicks, here are a few bonus words:
*list of posts you may choose from is here.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
A quiz of Toddler Verbage. Leave your comment with your answers. No cheating--in other words: no looking at grandmas' answers. I will, however, give one hint per entry, but only one. Simply ask for it in a comment by telling me the number you are desperately struggling with. Hints may include, but are not limited to, definitions, using in a sentence, pronunciation. Tip: I did not say that it was against the rules to read other contestants' hints...
I know what you're thinking, What's in it for me? Right? I will tell you. The winner--that would be the commenter with the most correct answers (sillies)--gets to choose a post from the list. Can you believe it??? How exciting! I'm tingling all over I'm so excited and I'm not even entering! I can't even imagine what you're doing. Maybe I don't want to...
Well, I won't keep you. After all, you have much work to do.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Any-hooter, without further ado, the list:
1. Earning Your Stripes--er, I mean, Staples
2. My Dears in the Headlights: A Quiz of Toddler Verbage
3. The Case of the Missing Slice
4. Worst Ideas Ever
5. Don't You Wish You'd Seen it First? (So You Could've posted it on Your Blog)
I know, right??? I mean, there are like sooo many to choose from! How in the name of all that is Candyland will you ever pick just one? Glad I'm not you. Your job is T-U-F-F.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Shout out to the Calls - We owe you BIG TIME!!! Good luck in El Paso. And by the way, thanks for leaving us all of that cool stuff!
We're not going to miss our old shanty, but we will miss our friends:
I don't know if the experience lived up to the anticipation.
Monday, June 23, 2008
With that said, it will probably be a few more days until we get the internet hooked up at the new pad, or as we like to refer to it, "Our shrink." More to come on that later. (Am I hooking you?) Luckily we have found that the local Maytag Laundry has a free wireless internet connection. so here I sit, typing away in the car, as the object of some awkward stares from the employees. Oh, to have no shame!
So here is the brief update:
We LOVE LOVE LOVE our new place!
We are beginning to LOVE Buffalo. I took up the hobby of getting into some of the architectural history here (of which there is a surplus) and have been quite impressed. More to come.
The economists are right; people respond to incentives. After searching high and low and far and wide, we have finally discovered the carrot that errorlessly leads Max to the potty hole! More to come.
I just got the low battery sign, and if I don't post this it won't get done for days (see above). I'm going to have to stop right there. Talk to you soon!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
So I'm driving down Main Street in Buffalo and I see this gangster looking kid with his cornrows and baggy clothes standing on the side of the road holding a bright neon-orange sign. My first thought was that he was soliciting work or something, so I slowed down to read the sign. We made eye contact and he sheepishly looked away from me, so my eyes drifted down to the sign:
"I WILL NOT STEAL OR LIE TO MY MOM!"
HAHA! What a great mom!!! The best part was that this mom-of-the-year candidate was sitting back behind her son and off to the side, reading a book in a lawn chair! Oh what I would have given for a camera!
On a more serious note, it was reassuring to me to see a mom doing her job as a parent! Abby and I have met a few parents that probably would have stormed into a convenience store and insisted that their kid would never do something like that if they got caught stealing. Then they would follow it up with a rant about how the store set them up because they are out to get teenage kids. Finally, they would top it off with a threat to file a character defamation lawsuit if the accusing employee didn't quit their job and leave the country!
Good work mom! We need more like you!
Friday, May 30, 2008
When I got to the airport and walked through the security station I heard the man who gets to look at all of our stuff yell "bag check!" It was mine... :( So I sat there as the man opened my backpack and pulled out my hair gel stuff. It was bigger than three ounces. Crap. Oh well. He threw it away and ran it through the x-ray machine again. No go. I wondered what it was this time. Tooth paste. It was bigger than three ounces. Crap. Oh well. He threw it away and ran it through the x-ray machine again. No go. (Are you having deja-vu?) You've got to be kidding me!
At this point I start to get a little nervous, and it didn't help that the guy running the x-ray machine was eying me down like I was under the direction of Bin Laden! So the guy walks over to me and asks, "Do you have anything sharp in here?" I reply, "Maybe a pen or something." He keeps searching. "No, I'm looking for something else and I can't seem to find it." So I try to be as helpful as I can as to alleviate any suspicion that I am trying to sneak something past him. I grab the strap and say "There's another pocket right here." As I pull the strap around a RAZOR BLADE that I had put in my bag a few days earlier and completely forgotten about flies out of the pocket and lands on the table. CRAP!!!
The next thing that I knew I was standing naked in an interrogation room. Then I snapped out of my worst-case-scenario daydream and the guy said "I doubt you even knew about that! Let me run this bag through one more time and you can get on your way." I guess he could observe the fear in my eye. Luckily it passed, and I got to go on my way, but I couldn't help but wonder if that was a good thing or not? On one hand I was glad that I could go through, but on the other hand I was a little shocked. I mean, I just tried to go through security with a razor blade! Doesn't that at least warrant a few questions?
Anyway, let me just say that I will never pack my bags in a rush again! Lesson learned.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Sunday, May 4, 2008
I guess I should have know that these guys were amatures when I heard the constant thud of a techno beat. I mean, come on! If you're going to celebrate Cinco de Mayo on Tres de Mayo, the least you could do is get a mariachi band! And for heaven's sake, even I know that you don't drink the Canadian LaBatt Blue cerveza on the 5th of May! Where were the Cobras! (Shout out to all my East LA homies!)
It was a little frustrating because part of the reason Abby and the kids went to Utah a week before me was so that I could have some peace and quiet to study for finals, and anyone that knows me well knows that I have a hard time studying or falling asleep to loud noise. Well, once I gave up on the studying, and I realized that I was never going to fall asleep with the boom...boom...boom...boom-boom-boom as my background music, I decided to run down to Walgreen's for some "sleep-aid." When I got home I pounded about half a bottle of NyQuil, and the next thing I knew it was morning. Thank you NyQuil. I love you.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Once pure delerium was reached, Blondie and her older sister kept Vanessa entertained across the isle, while Max sat in Vanessa's seat and played with Andrea. Her stickers and crayons and movies were increasingly more enticing than his own stickers...and crayons...and movies. Thank goodness for Andrea. Airplane lavatories are simply too cozy for mom, infant, and toddler.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Meanwhile, amidst all the cave person hallabuloo, Thing 2 was enjoying tummy time on her play mat...or so I thought..."Tadaah!"
Still, the toes remain a very definitive step in the grabbing process, mind you.Once she got the hang of this, though, Thing 2 seemed content to just keep on hangin' on...and on...and on...She'll never let go, Jack. Doesn't she look so pleased with her accomplishment?
We are proud of you too, Princess P.
Later in the day we headed with friends for Things 1 and 2's first trip to the ZOO.
There, we had the ever so important argument on how to pronounce Elephant...(I'm not sure who gave in first, but I'm pretty sure they they agreed to disagree.)
...became entranced by Gorillas......so entranced, in fact, that we could not, for one second, peel our little eyes away from the beasts while banging our own gorilla-like chests for a photo-op.
We also got to sing to Mr. Crocodile...
Can't Catch Me!
Hold hands, and more hands...then fall down...and stay there.
We giggled on a camel saw... monkey bums????
and--Oh Look!A Big Horn!! That's why we come up here.
Thing 2 had a delightful first day at the zoo as well.She was particularly fascinated by the inside of her eyelids.
A day of firsts is definitely what we had, for it was also the first day we met our new landlords at 341 Parkside, as well as the first night Thing 2 decided it was also time to start waking up 3-5 times a night (hence the lag in our blogging). I believe we have since nipped that last first in the bud. For all of our sakes, let's hope.