Saturday, May 30, 2009

The Last Days

I know at one point tonight I was asleep. I'm not sure which. However, I am pretty sure the point in which I woke up was when My Better Half came in to bed after readying our ipod for this weeks cross-country adventure, saw the dog and broke down. It is now 3:30 in the morning. I've been up since 2. In approximately 4 hours I am to drop Elder off at the repair shop for an oil change and an air conditioner fan motor...thingy. Approximately 1 and 1 half hours from that the rescue shelter in which we've entrusted our precious Clementine, is coming to retrieve her. Somewhere betwixt Elder's and Clementine's appointments I must retrieve my children from their impromtu sleepover at the Dayton's so as to say goodbye to our family canine and also our home. It is finally here. Just some sweepage and wipage of the joint and we are on our way. I don't really know why I am crying at this point. I cried--for days, I might add--when I had to move to this "God-awful" place, remember??? What is the deal??? I better compose myself before my tears create more water damage in My Better Half's computer. He might not be too happy about that, especially considering he just got it back this morning. Anyway. Change is hard. I've never liked change. In fact, I am down right terrified of change. Change should only be something loose that you find in the pocket of your jeans or unexpectedly in the couch. That is good change. The other kind always makes me cry and worry if we've made correct decisions. Fear of the unknown, I guess. Fear of unforseen elements. When Thing 1's development in my womb had reached the point where it was worthy of comments like, "Lady, you are having this baby to-day, aren't you?" (Ha Ha. No actually. I have 4 more weeks, you sensitive male. Are you saying I'm fat?), I remember these distinct, slightly disturbing, thoughts in my head: "Oh dear, Ab, what have you gotten yourself into? What were you thinking??? You weren't. And now you're having a baby. You have to have this baby. It has to come out of you. There is no turning back. You can't woose out, fake an injury so you don't have to perform labor. Hide. No. You have to give birth to this...thing." I am not exactly sure why this is relevant to the situation. Perhaps it is because I've reached this point in our move. There is no turning back. Perhaps is it because My back hurts so bad from all bending and lifting that is entailed in moving that it feels like I am going into labor. That is also a viable relevancy. I guess, what I do know is that I am truly going to miss this place. Place meaning our apartment, and its early 20th century fabulousness and location, but mostly dirty, gritty, real, diamond-in-the-rough Buffalo, NY. The 198. Our Ward building that is painted like a fast food joint (then you realize it has a steeple, so it isn't. Then you notice the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints sign and think, Huh. Wierd. They don't usually look like that.) that resides across from the Catholic projects. Mayor Brown and the amount of times he says the phrase City of (or people) of Buffalo, EVERYTIME he is on the news. Our friends both student and non. The accent (oh how I'll miss the accent). Hertel. Shopping at the garage, the estate, or the curb. Man I have loved this place. Who knew? And now we are leaving it. Who knew? Pray for us in our new adventure, most especailly that Elder has the estimated 6000 miles he has planned for him this summer, but also for Clem that she will be happy and healthy and not miss us like we will miss her.


Over and Out,
Former Soldiers

17 comments:

Boss said...

Oh Abby, you should know not to ever say anything sad or sentimental to (or in front of) a pregnant woman. Now I'm a basket case too. Could someone get me a tissue please!

It goes without saying that we'll miss you. But I'll say it anyway: we'll miss you.

Drive safe. Keep an eye out for loose change. (The good kind.)

Rachel and Tyler said...

It's crazy how Buffalo grows on you, I can't believe it will be our turn to leave in a year. We will miss you here. Good luck with everything.

Stephanie Evans said...

We will miss you! You have such a fun, quirky way of writing. I'm sorry you hate change, for I know how you feel. Who knew Buffalo could be so loveable? And I am so sorry you have to part ways with Clem. I'm sure she will be taken care of. By the way, your check is in the mail :) I know that's what people say when they are lying, but I am for real. Thanks for being such good friends. I now have the privilege of saying I was friends with a real Cougarette! Haha, that's important stuff and can never be taken away from me. :) Good bye and good luck!

kandis said...

Abby first of all I love the way you write! It's so captivating and I feel like I'm sitting right next to you talking! Second we're going to miss you! I can't believe the time has come for so many people to leave this place. Though it's far away from most of what I feel like is "home" I too have grown fond of this place. And best of luck with all of the change that is coming your way. I hate change too but at least you have a cute little family to do it with! We'll miss ya!

Natalie said...

Abby- We're going to miss you. You're so easy to like and I always felt very comfortable around you. Sometimes I get intimidated by beautiful people. Good luck with the rest of your life. Maybe we'll end up in the same ward again some day. We'll miss you!

Savannah C. said...

Everyone loves Abby! Everyone! You will be missed so much. And Max! I can't believe that we no longer get to see Max in primary. He is such a sweetie.
Thanks for being so awesome, and making all of us love you.
(Jeff and Perry you are great too, I just don't have you in primary or hang out at girl's nights so it's not the same)
Best wishes for great law school years. You will be missed! This is kashann, btw.

annie said...

i need a tissue, too. :(

Lauren said...

We just finished moving our stuff from our apartment into a storage unit until the big PA move in August. Our backs are super sore from the what seemed like endless bending and lifting as well so we literally feel your pain. We were in Greenville for a long time(undergrad and beyond) so it's very bittersweet for us too. I will have to post about our move as well. Luckily we don't have to make 6,000 miles this summer with 2 kids so good luck there! We look forward to good times ahead!

RaCHeL + DoUg said...

Where do I even begin? I was so excited to come to Buffalo & meet this girl that danced w/Jen & Julianne. I can vividly rememeber my first Sunday in R.S. & you leaning over asking if I was the one friends w/Jen. The immediate excitement of knowing you was only the beginning. You are such a great friend & I have loved getting to know you & your family. Your children are to die for & I am going to miss having you call & telling me the crazy things that Doug shares with Max. :) I am going to miss our 'family day haircuts', our long convo's in the hall @ church & all the laughs we have together. I wish you all the best in your endeavors as you grasp onto this thing called 'change'. You are wonderful & wonderful things will come your way! XOXO

Shawnie said...

Abby, this choked me up too. You described everything really well. I know the feelings you are having. My latest "change" affected me as we traveled home from Dunc's wedding and I was in tears a good chunk of the way. I remember leaving graduate school and just bawling my eyes out and thinking, "God doesn't make women any better than that", speaking of my good friends I had made. Then I got to know some new friends in my new place and I remember thinking "But He sure makes a lot of them". That is one of the blessings that comes from that kind of change. Good luck--we will be praying for you, knowing at the same time that you will be well. xox

Natalie said...

We are so sad to have you go! I remember helping Jeff move you guys in. Have you really been here long enough to leave?
Good luck in your new adventures. We will definitely keep in touch!

gina bina said...

Change is hard! Good luck on your new adventures!

Tyler and Jenica said...

Aw this is so sad Ab! I hope everthing goes well. This is how I will feel after we leave Texas this summer, and I know how my family will feel when they move to Utah after living in Texas for 11 years.

I hope to see you soon!

Tyler and Jenica said...

Aw this is so sad Ab! I hope everthing goes well. This is how I will feel after we leave Texas this summer, and I know how my family will feel when they move to Utah after living in Texas for 11 years.

I hope to see you soon!

Jenny and everyone else said...

Here is a good example of why I should WORK at work, and not read blogs. Because now I am just CRYING. I had to go get a tissue. I am soooo glad you are coming home ~ even if it is for a brief moment. I am happy for all the "adventures" you and your family have been able to take. I am glad that I have been able to be a part of some of them. I am sorry about Clem. There will be someone who will love her just as much as you do. you have no need to fear. someone wise (probably char) once told me ~ you cannot have FAITH and FEAR at the same time. And I know you have faith baby!! ( i added that last part on just for you). I LOVE YOU!!! and I cant wait to see you!!!

Britta said...

We'll miss you guys! Thanks for being such good friends and examples. I wish you all the best.

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Vince
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